I was talking with a friend of mine about high school today and some of the plans Macguines, and Drason and I have been kicking around and I realized there is A LOT more I could have written about this. I am certainly not a pro at homeschooling - if you think I am you need to go back and read the first 10 chapters of this journey, I learn by trial and error just like everyone else!
But, one book I have found particularly helpful is
This wonderful book greatly helped me clarify what so many mentor moms had tried to explain!
Some questions to thoughtfully consider....
Where is the best place for my child to experience the Grace of God which leads to repentance?
Where is the best place for my child to grow towards Christian maturity?
Where is the best place for my child to develop his gifts and talents with a view towards God's future calling in his life?
It is my opinion that more important than any amount of education, more than any amount of football, more than any other anything in life - is our children's salvation, spiritual health, and eternal impact.
I agree that some parents can take these concepts to the extreme, sheltering their students and being the 'helicopter mom'. When our children were young, our goal in home education was to protect and provide for our children. There were things in the world that they didn't need to experience. However, as they have reached middle school our focus has shifted from protect and provide to provide and prepare. For us this means years of preparing and equipping our children with the knowledge and discernment to see truth, seek wisdom, and surrender to God's calling in their lives, have to be put into practice.
As a mother, it was difficult for me to make the shift from protect to prepare.
Practically, this meant stepping back and letting my son find his own way in various situations. In 6th grade the step back was hardly noticeable, but today you can see the gradual shift accomplished in the last 3-4 years. A few more freedoms, a little less hands on in the school room, and a little more listening to his opinions about friends and activities. It was a hard sell for me, but the more I allowed him some freedom to express his desires and choose his path, the more he impressed me. There have been times when he sought guidance, and there have been times when he was given guidance in spite of himself. Our role as parents has not changed - we are still raising our children in the way of the Lord - but the methods have differed greatly.
The greatest difference is the relationship we have today. When our children were younger our relationship was more clearly child and parent. We set the rules, you follow them. You don't follow them, there are consequences. We are responsible for your meals, clean clothing, and all other needs, you have very few responsibilities outside of just being obedient to your parents.
As they have gotten older the relationships have become more parent/Christian mentor to child/young believer. As my sons have grown, we have been blessed with conversation about many a topic and many a circumstance. Sometimes we have struggled through with tears, other times we have reasoned through with logic, but we are hungering and thirsting after righteousness together! I freely admit that our relationship with our sons has greatly influenced our ability to converse with them. They are not perfect and neither are we, but we are seeking perfection together.
Here are some answers that we have found to be true of those questions...
"Homeschool is the natural setting for spiritual growth and the only one that can truly integrate a child's emotional, intellectual and moral development. And that's important if we want kids to learn to live with integrity. Compartmentalizing our faith in life - being forced to leave it out of the equation at school or at work, especially during adolescence - is risky business. In public school, children learn to disconnect their academic achievement and their knowledge base from the moorings of God as Creator and center of all they know and do. It also fosters moral development to utilitarian purposes: 'I will play by the rules because I want the reward offered for doing so.'
I 've found that much of the turmoil of adolescence is minimized in the context of homeschooling. Kids aren't asked to fight their internal battles while simultaneously coming to grips with living at odds with the culture. And at home you can seamlessly move back and forth in addressing your child's emotional upheavals, academic tasks, and spiritual questions. Homeschooling allows your teen to develop within a system that feeds his faith rather than eats away at it." (The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling your Teen; Debra Bell p36-37)
Praying many blessings upon you and your home educated teens,
Amanda
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