Love

I had a conversation the other day with one of my sons about love. It is so very important that we talk to our children about love - especially in a culture that teaches the opposite of love. We went through the following verses together...
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
It helped us to go through this scripture thinking about what the opposite of love might be. Love is kind... the opposite of kind is unkind, the opposite of love is hate - so hate is unkind...
So to put this in other words - Hate is pushy and easily frustrated, Hate us unkindness, Hate is envious and braggadocios, Hate is arrogant and rude, Hate insists on it's own way, Hate is irritable and resentful, Hate rejoices in wrongdoing, Hate rejoices in lies. Hate will not bear with you, Hate will not believe in you, Hate has no hope for the future, Hate will not endure a trial.

1 Corinthians 13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.

"But when we rise to agape, to Christian love, it is higher than all of this. It becomes the love of God operating in the human heart. The greatness of it is that you love every man, not for your sake but for his sake. And you love every man because God loves him. And so it becomes all inclusive. The person may be ugly, or the person may be beautiful. The person may be tall, or the person may be short. The person may be light, or the person may be dark. The person may be rich, or the person may be poor. The person may be up and in; the person may be down and out. The person may be white; the person may be black. The person may be Jew; the person may be Gentile. The person may be Catholic; the person may be Protestant. In other words, you come to the point of loving every man and becomes an all-inclusive love. It is the love of God operating in the human heart. And it comes to the point that you even love the enemy. Christian love does something that no other love can do. It says that you love every man. You hate the deed that he does if he's your enemy and he's evil, but you love the person who does the evil deed." MLK Jr. 1962

Need-to-know info about Co-ops!

I recently read a blog about being in a co-op and what that can look like.

A friend of mine shared that blog and the comments section blew up! Whew! Who knew there were so many strong opinions and misconceptions about co-ops.  Some of these were comments that I have heard over the years but others were fairly new - so I would like to address some of those and talk about how a co-op community might work for your family in a healthy way.

Top 10 Things to know about Co-ops!

#1 - Not all co-ops are alike.  As many different styles of teaching exist there are also that many types of co-ops.  Some co-ops want everyone to teach something, some don't have that requirement. Some are really religious, some exclude certain types of schooling at home, some are held outside (even in winter) some are only for field trips, some are only for high school - there really are 1000 different kinds of co-ops and the point is - Don't give up on ALL co-ops because you went to one and it didn't work.  Try another one, find your tribe.

#2 - Identify differences in Leadership early on.  There are also many ways to lead a homeschool group or co-op, each will have a different feel.  It's important to figure out where you fit in all this! Here are a few I have encountered and a little bit about each:

• group of moms deciding together - usually smaller, meets in homes, can be intimate, watch out for cliquishness
• umbrella group - usually online, offers occasional field trips and events, can be great source of information, can be very large, can have little structure, usually led by just a few people
• business group - meets in person, usually limited in size, offers specific things, led by one or two people, can be pricey, may not readily identify as a business to interested parents
• activity group - group focuses around an activity like a sports team, some are for profit and some are not, smaller focus and duration of commitment
• affiliate group- a group that is affiliated with a church or community group, usually run by an appointee of the affiliate, offers what benefits the affiliate, can be good if your goals/beliefs align, homeschooling may not always be a first priority
• non-profit group -run by a board of people in elected positions, has a published vision, mission and history, more structure, can be larger sized (be sure to look up groups claiming to be "non-profit" using the IRS Charity look up tool https://apps.irs.gov/app/eos/) 

#3 - Identify differences in curriculum/style - First you have to know your own teaching and learning styles - but once you do you can easily determine if a group will be a good fit.  Are they rigid in their courses offering core subjects, or more go with the flow?  Do they offer a variety of fun or "fluff" topics designed to help with making friends and getting support?  Are classes inclusive of different learning styles or more structured by design?  

#4 - Teachers - Believe it or not, not all co-ops require parents to teach to participate!  Some co-ops require that each parent teach a class to be present, others seek out parents to teach and allow other parents to help, still others hire outside teachers to offer classes. 

#5 -Parents - Do you share similar values and goals as the parents that are in your co-op? It isn't necessary that everyone always agree about everything - but it is very helpful to have a group of people to share life with.  Are parents interested in making friends or are they all business and see this as just a short term commitment?  Are the people friendly and welcoming? Is there a steep learning curve? These are things that can cause stress and make participation less enjoyable. Carefully consider if you share goals and values with other parents. 

#6 - Kids - Are the other kids at the co-op encouraging and friendly? Are they positive influences? If there are children who are older than your kids - are they good role models?  Determining the culture of the kids at a co-op can be one of the most important things about co-op.  These children WILL influence your children, sometimes for years to come. 

#7 - Visit first - It's a great idea to ask leaders if you can visit co-op BEFORE you sign up, purchase supplies or curriculum, commit to help out, or pay any fees.  A full day visit will help you identify leadership styles, teachers, parents, kids and curriculum, Visit for as long as they will allow it!!  This visit will give you time to make informed decisions and feel comfortable about your choices.  I caution parents to watch out for sales pitches and instant best friends.  If it feels high pressure, sign on the line, pay today or you're my new best friend and you HAVE to do this because my kids are doing it too - I would advise you to RUN away. 

#8 - It isn't about your personality (Introvert vs. Extrovert) Some people like to be home bodies, some like to always be on the go - find the right group for support and you will fit right in.  Introverts and Extroverts feel uncomfortable when they are trying to fit themselves into the wrong type of group.  Sometimes it is counter- intuitive. I had a mom who identifies as an introvert tell me she LOVES our large co-op because she has space to hide herself away if she is over stimulated and there are enough people to help with her kids.  I've also known extroverts to thrive in smaller groups!

#9 - Co-ops should support your homeschooling goals without taking over your homeschool. One thing I think some people quickly dismiss is that not everyone feels comfortable (or really wants to put the extra effort into) every subject. If my kids can do a fun science experiments class and make a mess somewhere OTHER THAN MY HOUSE!! that is great for us - and it alleviates my at home responsibility to make that fun special experience for them. Practically - when our kids were little we did science and history through co-op because it was fun and did math and language arts at home because we wanted to have that good focus and foundation. It helped me as a mom of multiple kids to know that they were having those special and fun experiences somewhere with their friends and that I was not solely responsible for hosting play dates, doing a unit study/crafty/memory folder project for history and creating, organizing, gathering supplies and teaching science experiments. 

#10 - Co-ops can be fun and the highlight of your week - IF you use them correctly.  Keep in mind that to truly be homeschooling, YOU - the parent are responsible for the education of your children, but co-ops can be a fantastic way to support your social, educational and family goals without being overwhelming.