Homeschooling through Highschool - Citizenship

His eyes look so green when he cries. 
He must get that from his father.  Maybe it is because his face is red that his eyes look green. 
'I know you don't like how I handled that Mom, but I did what I thought was best.' 

How can I agree with doing that which you believe is right, speaking truth, and yet disagree with the method of speaking? Sometimes life lessons are hard.  Sometimes age doesn't really matter because regardless of if your 13 or 33 or 103 we all need a little truth spoken into our lives and we all need to speak softly and hear words rather than guess intentions.

I read James and so much of it speaks to me, calls to me, "Hide this in your heart!!"   I think James was a truth speaker.  Half brother to the Messiah, James has a lot to say about our words and our actions and conflicts, both the cause and the prevention.

James 1:19-20 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters;  You must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry.  Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.

James 1:22 But don't just listen to God's word, you must do what it says. Otherwise you are only fooling yourselves.

James 1:26 If you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue you are only fooling yourself and your religion is worthless.

James 2:1 My dear brothers and sisters, how can you claim to have faith in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ if you favor some people over others?

James 2:14 What is it dear brothers and sisters if you say you have faith but don't show it by your actions? Can this kind of faith save anyone?

I think about this and I think about homeschooling through high school and the conversations I have had over the years with families who were homeschooling and then stopped because they are so worn out. Home schooling through high school presents new interpersonal challenges.  Conflict between parent and student, or even conflicts in co-ops and student groups can be overwhelming.  Why do we have these conflicts?

James 4:1- 3 What is causing quarrels and fights among you? Don't they come from the evil desires that war within you? You want what you don't have so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can't get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don't have what you want because you don't ask God for it. And even when you do ask you don't get it because your motives are all wrong. You want only what will give you pleasure.

What causes quarrels? James lists a few things here.

1. Unmet (and sometimes unrealistic) expectations - you want (or expect) what you don't have (or get or have any right to get) 
This is the number one thing that I see in homeschooling that causes fights and quarrels. 
Parent/Student conflict - Mom and dad want more time spent studying , students want more time spent with friends. Everyone is unhappy.
Student/Student conflict -at this age most students are involved in at least one or two outside groups. Students sometimes have conflicts.

2. Jealously and Selfishness
When life becomes a popularity contest there is bound to be a LOT of jealousy.  This is something I see in churches, co-op's, and virtually everywhere in 'Christian' world.  Lots and lots of clamoring for attention and asserting one's 'rights' and very little humility and inclusivity. 
James 3:15 Jealousy and selfishness are not a part of God's wisdom.  Such things are earthly, unspiritual and demonic.
Are you only interested in your own life or your own family? Do you justify this with common sayings like 'God gave me my family' or 'I just can't help that you with your problem, you will need to take care of that."  Watch out!  What if the Lord only cared about His son's well being?  We have to be vigilant rather than arrogant.  I dont want to be like the man forgiven a large debt who then turns his neighbor over to the jailer because of a matter of $20.

3. Pride (aka Anger)
We can all find a reason to be offended. We can all find fault with each other and tear each other to pieces, OR we can lift up one another and determine that no matter what, we will resist the real enemy.  Pride is often our biggest downfall.  We miss seeing the very real schemes of the devil because we are so focused on how good and holy we think we are. Hanging onto offences, holding onto hurts instead of addressing them, and being offended on behalf of someone else is childish and foolish! Open our eyes to these schemes.
Proverbs 3:34 God opposes the proud but favors the humble.
James 4:7 So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

4. Grumbling, Judging and Gossip
James 4:11-12 Don't speak evil against each other, dear brothers and sisters.  If you criticize and judge each other you criticize God's law. Your job is to obey the law, not judge whether or not it applies to you. God alone, who gave the law, is the judge. He alone has the power to save or to destroy. So what right do you have to judge your neighbor?
James 5: 9 Don't grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. For look, the Judge is standing at the door!


The truth is... When you are a citizen of two kingdoms, you can expect conflict.

James not only corrects, but also offers some insight.

James 3:11 - 12 Does a spring of water bubble out both fresh water and bitter water?  Does a fig tree produce olives or a grape vine produce figs? No, and you can't draw fresh water from a salty spring.

James 4:8 Come close to God and God will come close to you.  Wash your hands you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.

James 5:16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.

James 3:17
But wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others.  It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. 

Lord, help me to live as a citizen of Heaven.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Amanda

Faithful

Someone let the dog outside, twice. 

Angry voices, pitched high outside the window, carry just enough that I realize it is time to intervene.  Fingers point, voices raise, anger spills out with tears of frustration.  The dog runs free in the field, ears flapping in the wind, smile as wide as the sky, oblivious to the chaos happening behind her.  She knows we will come and find her, that we will be here.

A friend once noted to me that it's the behavior in our kids, reminding us of our own sin, which causes us the most grief.  So it's when I'm talking with my youngest about attitude and the feelings that say 'I do so much, I deserve my own way!'  that I can hear the spirit nudging me to get quiet and listen up because I too, need to hear some correction. 

How often I want things my own way?  How many times have I become upset at the way things have turned out? Doubting, fearful and listening to a voice of anger and defeat?

Hebrews 11:6   And it is impossible to please God without faith. Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that God exists and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him.

Faith is more than just a Pollyanna view of life which says  'Everything will work out',  Faith is more than hoping or praying for a better outcome. Faith is the action of trusting God and seeking Him.  It is an act of surrender.  I lay down my rights, my desires, my attitude, my hurts, my fears, and ultimately my desire to control, and trust in His will, His right, His desires. 

Faith is believing that not only is God my God, but also that God is Good even when it hurts. Even when things seem out of control and messy and I seem to be the only one who can see it? Faith is knowing that God is in control.

Isn't that what I am called to do? Have faith? Hebrews chapter 11 recounts many of the heroes of the faith, the prophets, the patriarchs, and at the very end it reminds me that these people died still hoping to see the promised Messiah.

My head tells me it is cautious, safer, to resist change, to strike a bargain and hunt for a way to stay the same.  There is a voice which says faith is for suckers, and you're in way over your head, and if anyone ever finds out what a failure you really are...... and the only way to keep that from happening is to try to control everything and everyone.  And if we are really honest, am I really being cautious or is that 'caution' born of a desire to control?

Caution and wisdom are not the same thing. One is driven by the shifting sands of anxiety and fear the other by firm foundation and anticipation of God's faithfulness.

In truth, Faith is only fear-filled when the one you trust isn't Faithful. 

My God is very faithful. My God is you'll never taste death faithful, and 90 years barren faithful, and I'll make you a nation faithful, and I'll walk you out of Egypt faithful.  He is even I'll bless you when all reasonable hope of blessing has passed faithful, and I'll heal your hearts and your home faithful, and I'll walk you though fire faithful.

As I think about all the examples in Hebrews 11, the things that God's people endured, I am awed by their faithfulness and stuck by the simplicity of faith.

Faith protected them. Faith protects me.

Anger, jealousy, fear, doubt. all of these eat away at me, gnaw at my faith, and when I embrace them, I can not also embrace humility, peace and faith and God's faithfulness. 

We talk about how the dog got loose, and how to be humble and considerate of each other. We talk about how to live in peace and store up wisdom. 

And I lay down some of my fears.  Fears about being inadequate to the task to which I have been called, fears about change. 

I see the promise on the horizon and I walk forward in faith, not knowing if I will ever see that day come to pass, still walking forward towards the promise. It seems so close, like change could be here tomorrow. I place my trust in the One who is Faithful and walk forward without fear.


Amanda

Feathers

 

 It is like a man who goes up on a tall tower - like the empire state building and rips open a feather pillow shaking all the feathers out. A few, fall at his feet and are easily recaptured, but most travel far and wide, to places unseen, unknown. 

 

Feathers aren't going to cause you pain when you run into them in a few years, they aren't going to stop you from fulfillment of a dream or making a friend. But gossip, just like those feathers, can never be re-gathered, it can never be taken back, you can never get back the spill of gossip - it will go to places unseen and unknown and when you encounter it again - it will cause pain. 

 

I am pretty sure everyone has experienced gossip coming back to them about themselves. When that happens, it is always tempting to correct the gossip, to identify the originator and to put them in their place.  But if I try to run it down I will never find rest or peace, it would be just as impossible as chasing down feathers dropped from the tower spire.  Imagine how ridiculous someone on the ground would look chasing these floating feathers and becoming upset when they could not gather them all.    I have grappled with this and realized that...

...when I  accept God's estimation of me, I stop worrying about what people say about me.

 

 Esteeming the praise of men, over the praise of God, creates in me a bondage of fear of men. (and women)

I am certainly not saying that we should live irresponsibly or disregard instruction, wisdom or correction. We should simply live our lives the best the Bible tells us how to. To love God, love people, submit appropriately, live humbly,  and try not to cause others to stumble through our behavior.

 

When I know I have been the topic of gossip, I often pray that God will recapture all those feathers for me. There is no way that I will ever be able to address it, no way that I could recapture feathers and convince others of the untruthfulness of the words spoken against me or my family. And in trying to undo the tangle of someone else's web - I too would need to climb a tower and rip open a feather pillow - I too would be guilty.

 

And one of my very favorite quotes from Mother Teresa

 

            People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered.  Forgive them anyway.

            If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.

            If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies.  Succeed anyway.

           If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.

            What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.

            If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.

            The good you do today, will often be forgotten.  Do good anyway.

         Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.

         In the final analysis...

it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.

 

 

 

Psalm 62:5-6 NLT

Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
    for my hope is in him.

 He alone is my rock and my salvation,

    my fortress where I will not be shaken.

 

Goodnight,

Amanda

 

40 days without Facebook

 

April 20th - Resurrection Day- (commonly called easter) I decided to do something a little different. 

We have been exploring our faith from a different perspective this past year or so... rather than just blindly accepting the things we have always been taught, we have been researching them, studying them, to see if they prove true. 

Most of what I have practiced as celebratory for many years may actually have roots in a very old religion, the religion of the Sumerians. When Drason and I discovered this, we immediately began changing some of our practices to either eliminate the elements which appear to worship another deity, or to stop calling some fun days in our culture a Holy day or a day for worshiping God.  God's will is not a mystery, he gave Holy days to the Israelites and then gave instructions to the apostles in how to worship and celebrate Holy days in a way which honors God.  I have come to realize that it is only through thorough study of scripture, understanding the day as they were originally commanded, their meaning, their fulfillment by Jesus, and Jesus' commands to his believers that we will ever understand worship.  That sounds legalistic even to me - but - it is not rooted in the desire to change others to conform - it is the desire to learn and grow in the understanding of God - to understand how even the feast days pointed to the coming Messiah and to grow closer to the Lord as a family that worships together. It's about love, not legalism.

If you are interested in learning more about this - you might try this book

So what does all this have to do with Facebook?

Some of my friends were a little bit confused as to why I would stop using Facebook and why 40 days AFTER Christ's Resurrection, and not the 40 days prior (aka Lent)

The origins of Lent are somewhat muddled....
There was a man named Nimrod, who was the grandson of one of Noah's son named Ham.
Ham had a son named Cush who married a woman named Semiramis. Cush and Semiramis then had a son named him "Nimrod." After the death of his father, Nimrod married his own mother and became a powerful King. The Bible tells of of this man, Nimrod, in Genesis 10:8-10 as follows: "And Cush begat Nimrod: he began to be a mighty one in the earth. He was a mighty hunter before the Lord: wherefore it is said, even as Nimrod the mighty hunter before the Lord. And the beginning of his kingdom was Babel, and Erech, and Accad,and Calneh, in the land of Shinar." Nimrod became a god-man to the people and Semiramis, his wife and mother, became the powerful Queen of ancient Babylon.  When Nimrod was killed his Queen retained power by claiming that he became the sun god 'Baal' She taught that she was the moon and a goddess that went through a 28 day cycle and ovulated when the moon was full. She further claimed that she came down from the moon in a giant moon egg that fell into the Euphrates River. This was to have happened at the time of the first full moon after the spring equinox. Semiramis became known as "Ishtar" which is pronounced "easter", and her moon egg became known as "Ishtar's" egg." Ishtar soon became pregnant and claimed that it was the rays of the sun-god Baal that caused her to conceive. The son that she brought forth was named Tammuz. Tammuz was believed to be the son of the sun-god, Baal. Tammuz, like his supposed father, became a hunter. The day came, in the spring, when Tammuz was killed by a wild pig. Queen Ishtar told the people that Tammuz was now ascended to his father, Baal. She also proclaimed a forty day period of time of sorrow each year prior to the anniversary of the death of Tammuz. During this time, no meat was to be eaten.  (This is mentioned in Ezekiel 8) Every year, on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox, a celebration was made at dawn. It was Ishtar's Sunday and was celebrated with rabbits and eggs - both symbols of fertility. Ishtar also proclaimed that because Tammuz was killed by a pig, that a pig must be eaten on that Sunday.  Most of this information is widely available online from a variety of sources including Wikipedia and others.  Through this story you can see the origins of lent, easter, easter eggs, rabbits, sunrise celebrations, and even easter ham!  These are items which we have removed from our celebration of Christ's resurrection because of our own convictions.  
Why then would I choose to participate in a 40 day fast AFTER Christ's Resurrection?

After Jesus death his followers were scattered and in mourning.  Some had denied him, others returned to their old lives as if nothing had ever happened, some locked themselves away in fear. Jesus took this scattered group, the doubters, the deniers, those cowered in fear, all of them - and transformed them into the pillars of the Church.  Not a church, not a religion, the Church, the Army of the Living God Church, with Jesus Christ at the head, His Church which stretches throughout human history.  Hebrews 11 tells us that by Faith people are added to His number.  Jesus spent 40 days on Earth AFTER His death to teach and instruct His disciples, to give them hope and a future, to encourage them, uplift them, and TEACH them how to be His.  A good place to read about this time is Matthew 28, Luke 24, John 20-21 and Acts 1.

Jesus used 40 days to bring hope, to bring purpose, to overcome fear, to bring acceptance, to show love and compassion, to encourage his followers to spread the gospel, to restore the doubters and to cement the foundation of the era we know as the church age.  The church age, or the time between Jesus first and second coming where God shows mercy to mankind, and allows for our redemption. 

For me, 40 days without Facebook was a celebration of the 40 days of Jesus on Earth, after His resurrection.  It has been a time for me to look forward to the bright future that He has planned and my own transfiguration.  It was also a time to be renewed, as I imagine it was for the disciples, and has brought some clarity to several situations which, when viewed through the lens of life without Facebook, seem rather trivial.  Ending Facebook interactions actually eliminated a source of attack and discouragement in my own life and left me with more time to interact with the people I love and to re-discover some very wonderful friendships in real life =) I have a better sense of peace, purpose and belonging than I have felt in some time - I imagine this is what the disciples felt after their 40 days with Jesus.

How amazing it must have been to see Him alive and well.  I can't wait!

Blessings,
Amanda





 

Seeking God

I am dreaming of spring - can you tell? This is like the winter that won't let go!

Right now, life is full of a lot of 'faith' things.  Maybe life is always full of faith things and I missed them so God is giving me some things I can't miss!

I am re-reading a book that I very much like.  I read it about 5 years ago after a very hard time in my personal life - I remember seeing this book at the library - and it just jumped off the shelf at me.  I thought 'This is the book that is going to explain why person X did that terrible thing to me!!'  God sure does have a sense of humor because in the end, the book was about me, and how I couldn't change them, but I could change me - and I needed to - fast!
Here is the book - I highly recommend it!

So this comes from the book I have been re-reading...  The author suggests that one of the main ways that Christian people are seduced into sin, is by taking their eyes off of the Lord (Faith) and doing what seems 'reasonable, rational or even religious'.  How many times have I fallen into that trap! 

Getting the right person for the right jobs, and all without hurting anyone's feelings.  Having enough money to pay the bills.  Choosing and buying curriculum for next year.  Making decisions about Grandpa's health. Working on relationships with my teen boys! All of these things require me to have faith that ultimately God is in control, but they also require that I take off the reasonable, rational or even religious, and instead seek God continually in these matters.  What I think may not be right, what I feel can deceive me, but what the Lord says, what He gives, is correct - even if it seems odd. 

I am not super mom/Christian/leader.  Please do not be under that delusion - I am only human and will likely disappoint.   I sometimes have difficulty knowing how to say what may need to be said or when I know I may be afraid to hurt someone's feelings.  God is working on this in me but I often put my foot in my mouth.  Because of this, I may not say something, even when I feel in my spirit that something is just not quite right. This is something God is working on in me - that I would have the courage to stand up for that voice, and the wisdom in how and what to say!

Part of the way that I discern God's voice is through spending time in His word and through isolating myself from most outside voices. So while I may not be spending lots of time on facebook or in emails or even in person, I am seeking, I am pursuing God for wisdom in all of these areas and so that when he speaks my spirit will hear!  What a blessing to be listening to the Holy Spirit that says 'this isn't quite right' or the quickening of knowledge 'YES, this is the way, walk in it!' 

So here is the word of encouragement to all you homeschooling moms who are thinking about next year (or really anyone who is thinking about anything!)
Maybe you aren't sure about curriculum or co-op classes or activities to plan. I would encourage you to take off what may seem reasonable, rational or even religious, put aside your expectations, and spend time in God's word.  Pray and seek him, seclude yourself in prayer, pray without ceasing - pray about it every time it comes to mind - stop and pray about it right now.  I had a friend who described her life as 'praying at the bookshelves, praying at the computer screen, praying at the dinner table.'  She was on her knees before the Lord seeking guidance and direction for her homeschool - and it shows!

I promise you that God does not want His will for your life to be a mystery - instead He wants to show you great and remarkable things! 

Jeremiah 33:1-3 While Jeremiah was still confined in the courtyard of the guard, the Lord gave him this second message: ² “This is what the Lord says—the Lord who made the earth, who formed and established it, whose name is the Lord: ³ Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come.

Please don't think it was just Jeremiah - because the Apostle Paul had this prayer - which he prayed for you and I. 

Ephesians 20: 14-21

When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father,¹⁵ the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. ¹⁶ I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. ¹⁷ Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. ¹⁸ And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. ¹⁹ May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

²⁰ Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. ²¹ Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.

and AMEN =)  God has great things in store for us!  Seek His will and be brave enough to follow him no matter where He leads!

Blessings,
Amanda

Sever the bonds of Fear.

The New Year was upon us, and so, like every homeschooling mom out there, it was time to venture back into the school books.  Make a plan, work the plan. And so, in my new, fearless new year, I began looking through their school books, their workbooks and honing the plan for the rest of the school year. 

In the new year many people long for a 'do over' of last year.  I am longing for a 'never do again' of this last year.  This past year was hard!  It wasn't bad, it was full of sweet memories, love, laughter with my boys,  there was loss but it was not unbearable loss, there were hard times financially, but they did not break us.  It wasn't that there was no joy, no love, no peace.  But it was very difficult.  It was a struggle.  I feel battle weary and worn and in need of a break, deserving of a break.  There are days to rest, yesterday was one that was quite blissful. Taking a 'break' though, is just not in the cards right now.  Respite yes, Break no.  So how do we gather ourselves up and continue, not just plodding through life, but living joyfully in every moment?  Lean, Pray, Rebuke, Rest.  This is my no fear in the new year motto.

In looking through the school books I find that there are lessons unfinished and boys worn as thin as I am and though I want to be angry, self righteous, indignant - 'How dare they....'  I hear that still small voice, whisper (shout) stop - think - be calm.  I know they are just as weary as I am they are struggling in this journey the same, and it frightens me to think of it, and it makes me realize they are only little people, even though they are big.  They need love, not lectures.  They need grace, not griping. They need a soft place to rest, not the hard line of a homeschooling fanatic.  They need Faith from their mother, not fear.

I lean,  I lean on Drason in the middle of the day with a frantic at work phone call and tears of frustration.  I lean on the Lord with pleading, please show me the way through this, we can not raise a house full of dummies, can we? I lean in, I calm down, I take a moment to vent frustration at life and circumstances and long nights at a hospital bed, and a thousand emails piling up since before Christmas, and my soul cries out to the Savior.

In Matthew 8 we find this:

And when he was entered into a ship, his disciples followed him. And, behold, there arose a great tempest in the sea, so that the ship was covered with the waves: but he was asleep. And his disciples came to him, and awoke him, saying, Lord, save us: we perish. And he said to them, Why are you fearful, O you of little faith? Then he arose, and rebuked the winds and the sea; and there was a great calm. But the men marveled, saying, What manner of man is this, that even the winds and the sea obey him!

The Greek literally translates "Lord! Help! Dying!"  and I get it - I feel that way sometimes.  I feel the wind and waves and storm raging and too many things to take care of and not enough time or resources to take care of them and my cry of my soul is 'Lord! Help! Dying!'

Mark 4, another recounting of the same story, gives voice to that deepest fear in verse 38  38And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say to him, Master, care you not that we perish?"

How often have I too cried out 'Don't you care?' and the root of that cry is fear, not faith.  Fear, which chokes and strangles the life out of life and makes every day seem dark and unending. 

Oh me of little faith, and much fear - even in my no fear new year, here I am only a few days into the year and bowing to fear in my homeschool room.

Prayer.  Prayer of Repentance,  I bow when I should rebuke, I quiver when I should quell.  Father open my eyes that I might see this coming, train my heart to respond with Faith and not with fear.  Prayer of Faith, Why am I fearful? Have you not walked me through worse things than this, have we not become more than conquerors?

Rebuke.  Only Faith can defeat this kind of fear.  Faith to root it out, Faith to tromp it down, Faith to stomp that snake into the dust and leave that Fear buried in the grave where it belongs.  There is no middle ground here - I either give in to fear or fight on in Faith.  I can not accept fear, welcome it into my home, entertain it, and then expect to turn and rout it.  Rebuke the devil and he will flee, Rebuke fear.  This is a hard concept to grasp, even the disciples marvel at Faith that calms the sea.

I read the passage again and I find Jesus asleep in the bow.  I wonder if the disciples thought he was crazy.  Who sleeps through storms that shake the world?  Who sleeps through a great tempest?  The Greek word is 'seismos'  We get our seismograph from this word.  We measure earth quakes with this word.  Who sleep through an earthquake of a storm?   Jesus does.  If it isn't because he doesn't care or he isn't listening, then why?   Jesus sees his creation, all things under his authority.  He stands, rebukes the wind and sea, and there is a great calm.

Rest.  During the middle of the storm, when things looked their worst, when disciples are crying out that death is coming for them, Jesus rests.  Can I rest? 

Romans 8:35-37
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?  (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”)  No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

Rest in Christ's love?  Yes. I want my children to do that, to rest in my love. To know that no matter how many math problems still need to be completed, I love them.  No matter how many hard days we have, sometimes by my design and for a greater purpose, I love them.  I desire for them to rest in that love.  Is my love dependent on their performance?  Absolutely not.
If nothing can separate me from Christ's love, even trouble, calamity, hunger, danger, or death, then what have I got to lose by resting in that love? by placing my faith in that love above everything else, rebuking fear even when all signs point to a sinking ship?  I lose nothing by resting in Christ.

  If the opposite of Faith is Fear, and Faith rests, what does fear do?  Fear performs.

A few of those disciples were sailors, I can just picture them in my mind fearfully scrambling about the deck in the storm trying to out perform the wind and the waves.  Could they ever out perform the wind and waves?  They thought they could.

And so I shuffle through home school books and papers and I prayerfully, fearlessly, revise.   And in this new no fear year I find something surprising.
My fear, fear of not sending kids to college, fear of kids not getting a well rounded education, fear of keeping up, fear of not fitting in,  has driven me to demand performance from my children, performance at a level that could not be attained without some serious scrambling.

I am ruthless in my pursuit of this new no fear new year.  I will stand (for He is able to make me stand!), rebuke the waves, and live the rest.

I slash assignments

I slice over committed schedules

I shave hours of wasted energy

and with His help, I sever the bonds of fear. 


Praise be to God, Amen!
Amanda








*'Boat on Calm Sea'- David M Cobb
* Bible verses are NLT
*portions interpreted from my study of  Max Lucado's book 'Fearless'

More Joy - Less Fear

More Joy - Less Fear, This is my resolve in the New Year.

There are some things that freak me out.... I will be going along, everything is looking up, and then BAM!  right in the middle of my morning there will be something that distracts, dismays or otherwise discourages me.  The rest of the day I will be struggling to get myself up out of the muck and mire and set my feet back on solid ground. 

The rest of the day, I miss the rest of the day. The 'Rest in the Lord' part of the day.

1Peter 1:6 So be truly glad.  There is a wonderful joy ahead even though you have to endure many trials for a little while.

When was the last time I was truly glad no matter the circumstances?

This was the year that the Lord taught me to name my joy, to number the joy, to count it all joy - and still, I fall, I fumble, I fail when it comes to joy. 

1 Peter 1:13  So think clearly and exercise self control. Look forward to the gracious salvation that will come to you when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world.

Numbering joy is a lesson in self control, it is a lesson in humbling yourself daily, mastering the routine rather than letting circumstances master you.

More than anything else in my life, more than daily responsibilities, more than anything - Fear steals my Joy.

Fear can come in many ways.  It comes in an email notifying me that someone has completed a survey - I want them to complete a survey, but I fear what it will say.  It comes in the form of a newsletter and a glowing review and I think - I wish my children had that same experience, and I fear for them when they don't.  It comes in weather forecasts and news reports, and reposts, and angry posts and warnings and wars and rumors of wars and through it all there is this desire to have joy and have peace....

My natural response to these daily occurrences is to embrace fear, but Christ tells me to count it all joy.  Count the joy.  My natural response to troubles, to things that cause anxiety, should be first to look beyond this - to be truly glad, and then to count the joy.

While I was sitting here typing this two things happened:
1 - I received a physical letter,  an email, and a Facebook update each of which caused me anxiety and general upset.

2 - My husband got home from the store safely and came in to give me a hug, followed by two of my laughing happy sons.  They are currently in the living room watching a movie and talking/laughing together.

I can choose to follow the path that leads me to anxiety, even though some of those things I have no control over, and some I need to address eventually.
OR
I can choose to count it all joy.  Count Joy. and be truly glad.

Blessings,
Amanda