Homeschooling through High School Part 2

I was talking with a friend of mine about high school today and some of the plans Macguines, and Drason and I have been kicking around and I realized there is A LOT more I could have written about this.  I am certainly not a pro at homeschooling - if you think I am you need to go back and read the first 10 chapters of this journey, I learn by trial and error just like everyone else!

But, one book I have found particularly helpful is

 

The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling Teens

 

 

This wonderful book greatly helped me clarify what so many mentor moms had tried to explain!

 

Some questions to thoughtfully consider....

 

Where is the best place for my child to experience the Grace of God which leads to repentance? 

Where is the best place for my child to grow towards Christian maturity?

Where is the best place for my child to develop his gifts and talents with a view towards God's future calling in his life?

 

It is my opinion that more important than any amount of education, more than any amount of football, more than any other anything in life - is our children's salvation, spiritual health, and eternal impact. 

 

I agree that some parents can take these concepts to the extreme, sheltering their students and being the 'helicopter mom'.  When our children were young, our goal in home education was to protect and provide for our children.  There were things in the world that they didn't need to experience. However, as they have reached middle school our focus has shifted from protect and provide to provide and prepare.   For us this means years of preparing and equipping our children with the knowledge and discernment to see truth, seek wisdom, and surrender to God's calling in their lives, have to be put into practice.  

 As a mother, it was difficult for me to make the shift from protect to prepare. 

Practically, this meant stepping back and letting my son find his own way in various situations.  In 6th grade the step back was hardly noticeable, but today you can see the gradual shift accomplished in the last 3-4 years. A few more freedoms, a little less hands on in the school room, and a little more listening to his opinions about friends and activities.  It was a hard sell for me, but the more I allowed him some freedom to express his desires and choose his path, the more he impressed me.  There have been times when he sought guidance, and there have been times when he was given guidance in spite of himself.  Our role as parents has not changed - we are still raising our children in the way of the Lord - but the methods have differed greatly.

The greatest difference is the relationship we have today.  When our children were younger our relationship was more clearly child and parent.  We set the rules, you follow them.  You don't follow them, there are consequences. We are responsible for your meals, clean clothing, and all other needs, you have very few responsibilities outside of just being obedient to your parents. 

As they have gotten older the relationships have become more parent/Christian mentor to child/young believer.  As my sons have grown, we have been blessed with conversation about many a topic and many a circumstance.  Sometimes we have struggled through with tears, other times we have reasoned through with logic, but we are hungering and thirsting after righteousness together!  I freely admit that our relationship with our sons has greatly influenced our ability to converse with them.  They are not perfect and neither are we, but we are seeking perfection together.

 

Here are some answers that we have found to be true of those questions...

 

"Homeschool is the natural setting for spiritual growth and the only one that can truly integrate a child's emotional, intellectual and moral development.  And that's important if we want kids to learn to live with integrity. Compartmentalizing our faith in life - being forced to leave it out of the equation at school or at work, especially during adolescence - is risky business.  In public school, children learn to disconnect their academic achievement and their knowledge base from the moorings of God as Creator and center of all they know and do.  It also fosters moral development to utilitarian purposes: 'I will play by the rules because I want the reward offered for doing so.' 

I 've found that much of the turmoil of adolescence is minimized in the context of homeschooling. Kids aren't asked to fight their internal battles while simultaneously coming to grips with living at odds with the culture.  And at home you can seamlessly move back and forth in addressing your child's emotional upheavals, academic tasks, and spiritual questions.  Homeschooling allows your teen to develop within a system that feeds his faith rather than eats away at it."  (The Ultimate Guide to Homeschooling your Teen; Debra Bell p36-37)

 

Praying many blessings upon you and your home educated teens,

 

Amanda

 

 

 

 

 

 



Homeschooling through High School

It’s been a while since I have blogged about our homeschooling journey…

After the years of cuteness, fieldtrips, and educational material where I know all the answers to all the questions, came something else....

In much of the curriculum we have used there has been a definite shift in about the 6^th or 7^th grade.  Reading workbooks are now entitled ‘Literature’  Math went from long multiplication to fractions to integers to algebra.  The science book still has colorful pictures, but it also has experiments and science fair projects and is as thick as a few of my old college textbooks.  Days that were spent on fieldtrips to Dawes feeding the ducks, became hours that we could not afford to take off.  Time with my girlfriends while the kids played in the park became time with the kids one on one while we studied some long forgotten (to me) concept.  My patience melted under the added pressure of the tough topic.  In short, homeschooling became much harder.   

Up to this point homeschooling had been relatively easy.   Don’t get me wrong, my children didn’t leap joyfully from their beds asking to work on long multiplication while reading historical literature and eating whole organic homemade bread.   BUT, they were able to complete their lessons in a few hours each day, play for hours uninterrupted, pursue any topic which caught their interest,  help with a myriad of chores, and participate in many a field trip or activity.   

About two years ago, in April-ish – I began to purchase curriculum for my oldest and as I began to plan the coming year I realized that he was going to have a much larger scope of work.  So I called and asked a good friend some hard questions.

Is all middle school and high school curriculum this hard?

‘Yes, middle school is preparing your child for high school.  High school is preparing your child for college.  You certainly can take easier classes in middle school, but those lead to easier high school classes and perhaps not being able to go to college.  It could also lead to taking a year or two of remedial classes at the local community college.’  That was not what I wanted to hear.  I really wanted to hear that there were some super easy fun curriculums for Calculus that could miraculously teach advanced math is 20 minutes a day.  Sort of unrealistic, I know. 

What if I don’t feel comfortable teaching it or don’t understand it?

‘You may not understand it, that’s ok. There are a lot of ways around that.  You can use an online school, a correspondence course, courses on DVD’s.  You can hire a tutor, enroll in a co-op class… there are a number of things that you can do to achieve a high quality education for your student, you just have to be willing to put in the leg work to find it and finance it.’

Will we have time to do fun things? 

‘Definitely, but they will have to be things that really matter to your teen.  You won’t have time to do every fun thing, but they will have time to pursue the things that matter to them.’  I have also found this is also true.  As my oldest got older he stopped wanting to participate in certain activities, but thrived in other areas.  We dropped band, and he committed to apply himself diligently to his lessons so that he could play football.   My second oldest dropped sports and excelled in band, piano and is now in a local theater production.   He also committed to complete his school work before participating in these extra activities.

Will we have time for chores?

‘Maybe.  It depends on how you structure your day.  You need to prioritize.  What is more important, having well educated kids, or, having a manicured lawn?  Think about the things that they are involved in, are they more, less or equally important to their education?  At this stage of life they are basically working a full time job to complete their school work. Whatever is added on top of that needs to make sense for their lives.’

What about friends?

‘Teens need a good bit of hang out time.  They have their own friendships and they want to hang out with their friends just like you want to hang out with yours.  As far as friends for you,  make time to be away from your kids to have time with your friends.  Your students should have a schedule so that they can be left alone, away from you, and still complete their work.’

What if my kids don’t really want to be home educated, complete their work, or drop extraneous activities?

‘Listen to your teen.  They know their lives, they know their likes, they know their dislikes and sometimes they have a unique perspective on a situation that you have not seen.  That being said, you are still the parent, not the friend, and sometimes you may spend an hour explaining your reasoning and suggesting a path, and they still won’t agree with you.  There are some things that are a non starter – like not completing school work, or not being home educated, but there are other things that could go either way – let your student make as many of these decisions as you can.’

If I could do one thing differently to prepare for homeschooling through high school, I would…..

The oldest kid is always the test kid.  When I realized how difficult some of the work would be we withdrew from many activities so that he could be at home studying.  As a result my younger two were also at home more.  This at home time became a more structured routine and gave them some very good study habits.  If I could do one thing differently, I would have participated in fewer extra activities and field trips (unless they fit into the preordained afternoon and evening free time) when my oldest was in the 4^th and 5^th grades and would have more carefully guarded the hours each day when school work needed to be completed.  The transition from elementary work to middle school work was much smoother for my middle and youngest sons because they had this structure in place already.

The other reason I think I was so game to blow off a school day and make it up later was because my friends would be at the events.  I showed my children that I valued my fun social time more that I valued their school work.  This was not intentional, but in all honestly there were times when I should have said no, but instead I said yes.

Finally, I would suggest that parents who are dedicated to homeschooling surround themselves with like minded people.  So many homeschooling families stop homeschooling when their kids get to be a certain age.  My calling to home educate my children is something that isn’t a passing phase, it is a commitment.  When parents view their dedication to home education as a calling and not a choice, the option of not homeschooling is taken off the table and instead of focusing on issues you tend to focus on finding solutions.   

Support is out there for parents who want to home school through high school, but it can be difficult to find since so many families have planned from the start to home school only through the 5^th or 6^th grade.  Looking at an old roster I note that 11 out of 31 families, fully 1/3, have placed their children into the public schools.  I am not citing this to criticize families for their choice and I understand that God’s calling in my life is not necessarily the calling for their lives.  This post isn't an attack on any person who decides to place their children in public schools.  I point this out only to illustrate how important it is to surround yourself with families who share and support your homeschooling goals.

I have been blessed to have many ladies in my life who have home educated a child through high school, and I hope that I can be an encouragement to others who also want to complete this journey.