I have had some great encouragements, a few surprises, and yes, even a thing or two that hurt my pride.
Everyone is insecure about something. One reason why a few people may not have responded to my request is because they KNOW that I have some insecurities, or because they themselves are insecure. They know that whatever they say it will be filtered through all of those insecurities and could possibly cause an issue in our relationship, OR because they are insecure, they are afraid of rejection.
What is it like to be around an insecure person? An insecure leader is impossible to follow - they are blown about by every wind. An insecure spouse is difficult to love - you feel like you are always walking on egg shells, you never know what you will say that will set them off, cause a fight, and nothing you do is ever good enough to prove your love. An insecure friend is draining - they are always worried about what others think, they call constantly, they gossip, they cry, they manipulate. And the way we know all that is because we ALL know some insecure people.
We all struggle with insecurity.
Look at the Barbara Walters show - about three fourths of the way through the show the guests always start crying, why? They have everything! These are the rich, the powerful, the amazingly beautiful or successful - so what on earth are they crying about? They are insecure. Insecurity is one of the biggest influences on that climate. Throughout life we have failures and difficult experiences, and we hear negative comments from people who are important to us. They stick to us - comments, failures, success, everyday things, these things feed our insecurities until it feel like we are carrying the world on our shoulders! Everything someone says to us, everything they do, the look they have on their face, the way they fold their arms - we start to see all of this through the lens of our own insecurities. So how do we deal with this?
Take a look at Paul.
Phil 3:3-14
3 For we who worship by the Spirit of God are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort, 4 though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
5 I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6 I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead! 12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Boast about nothing else but the label that God has given us.
Paul lists a list of labels that in our culture would be like saying I have millions in the bank, I have super model looks, a big beautiful house, a shiny Lamborghini -and whatever were gains to me I consider a loss - I consider all these things garbage - that I may gain Christ - this is the only label that I want.
What labels do I want? Do I want the label super mom? or better yet super homeschooling mom?
Do I want the label of popular? the label of successful? the label of beautiful? the label of nice house, nice things, nice cars? Do I want the labels of perfect kids? Perfect husband? Perfect marriage?
Would I lay down all of these to gain the label of 'This belongs to Christ' ?
The kicker is I don't even have those labels - the things that I so desperately seek - the things that I want to be seen as above all else, I can never fully achieve. Only with the label of 'Christ's' do I even come close.
Paul really puts the cherry on top when he says: Phil 4:13 'I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.'
We love this verse, everybody loves this verse. We all love the first part - but it is really the second part where the power is - through Christ.
God sees us through Christ.
At the heart of insecurity is the FEAR of rejection - God has not given me a spirit of FEAR - I need to reject those fearful thoughts at the door!
Acceptance is the cure for insecurity. God has accepted me and given me his spirit. God unconditionally loves me. He accepts me. Through Christ I have been accepted. When you see yourself the way that God sees you - it changes all the insecurities that you have - they go away.
The climate of your relationships improve when you see yourself as God sees you. Seeing yourself as God sees you gives you strength to do whatever it is that you need to do. God accepts you. God accepts you. God accepts you.
God sees you and he accepts you just as you are. He doesn't just accept you - GOD LOVES YOU.
Whose acceptance are you trying to achieve with all the labels that you seek? Because God doesn't see you through the lens of the world, the standard of beauty, the standard of living, the standard of (fill in your own blank here) God sees you THROUGH CHRIST.
Seeking after all these other labels - means we give our time, our energy, the best parts of ourselves seeking to find peace with our idols. This is wreaking your health, your family, and we are trying to earn other peoples acceptance, and not living in the acceptance of God.
James 1:8 says " A double minded man is unstable in all his ways"
A double minded man - The word here used, δίψυχος dipsuchos occurs only here and in James 4:8. It means, properly, one who has two souls; then one who is wavering or inconstant. It is applicable to a man who has no settled principles; who is controlled by passion; who is influenced by popular feeling; who is now inclined to one opinion or course of conduct, and now to another. (Barnes Bible Commentary)
What labels has the world given you? What labels has God given you? Of these two, which one do you want to live with? Do you want to live with the labels of the world? If so keep seeking them, keep foolishly following after the things you will never gain. Or you could take a rest. You could rest in the labels that your Heavenly Father gives you. Rest and live in peace and the assurance of God's love and acceptance for you.
- What's something you're really good at? Do you do it because you love it or because it wins you acceptance from others?
- What is the one thing you'd most like to change about your emotional climate? Why?
- Why is it difficult for us to believe that God accepts us?
- How would your relationships change if you stopped seeking the acceptance of others because you knew you already had God's acceptance?
We work for acceptance, yet we already have the acceptance of the one who matters most: God. The climate of your relationships will change when you see you as God sees you.
Write down the words of one of the scriptures below and carry them around with you this week. Use them to help you remember whose acceptance matters most.
I can do all this through CHRIST who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:13
A double minded man is unstable in all his ways.
James 1:8
Come close to God, and God will come close to you. Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts, for your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
James 4:8
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