Off the Adult Menu

We had Breakfast/Lunch at Bob Evans yesterday after church - it was packed out! So we finally get a table and of course everyone is starving, and the boys immediately begin to confer among themselves as to what to order. After several minutes of working out the details they present us with the plan - and it involves all three of them eating off the adult menu. As a mom- I really felt old at that moment - it is odd to think of my boys all being old enough to want to order off the adult menu. Since they were splitting a meal it was a bit cheaper, but it was still hard to hear that they wanted normal pancakes and not the cute little kids silver dollar ones with the whip cream smile. Anyways
This is reminding me of something else I heard lately - again and again I seem to hear this- so maybe it is what I need to hear.

From 3 verses - 3 steps to help focus on godly living
1 - What is your goal?
2 - How do you treat others?
3 - Who are you pleasing?

It helps to work these through and then work them backwards so let me give an example
Jill is 35 - married with 2 kids in school. She is a Christian.

Jill wants to get ahead - she has a good job and she wants to be sure to make a good impression on others so that she will be promoted - Her goal is - Get Promoted

She treats others in what she expects is a fair manner - if they can help her achieve her goal she is very friendly and outgoing, she will go out of her way to please her superiors and while she does not gossip, she uses office politics to get ahead as she can - she also avoids people who are unpopular for any reason - She treats others - With a singular purpose - in order to use them to accomplish her goal.

Jill spends time learning the likes and dislikes of her higher - ups and many hours working on special pet projects - Jill is pleasing Herself and Her employer

There is nothing wrong with Jill wanting to be promoted, doing a good job at work, even avoiding those who might stir up trouble - and there is nothing wrong with pleasing her employer or even herself. What should Jill's goal be?

Let me say here that this is just an example - only Christ knows what Jill - who is a fictitious person - should be setting her sights on - but to continue this example I'll work this out backwards.

God's plan for Jill starts with her family - Jill's husband feels like Jill has time for everyone but him. Jill's children go to church on Sunday - but during the week they are bombarded with secular images at school and at home. Because both Jill and her husband work they are both tired in the evenings and allow the kids to make their choices about many things because they are simply too tired to be involved any further in their children's lives. God wants Jill to serve her family - even though this is not what she wants for herself.

This will start with Jill pleasing God with her choices rather than herself or her boss at work - it may mean not being involved in the pet projects which will cause her to lose her popular status, and she may even become - gasp- one of those people who she would not have associated with before because she will not be popular - in fact people will probably say "What happened to Jill? She used to be such a go getter - it is such a pity."

But because of these small changes Jill begins to please God and winds up also pleasing her husband - who feels wanted and needed by her new attention and she pleases her children who are struggling to find themselves in a lost world. Jill - surprising even herself - finds that she is happy with the changes and pleases herself because of the new closeness with her husband and focus on her children.

Jill treats people better - she realizes that some of the people she was avoiding at work - are really a lot like her - many have similar views and are not popular because they have also made choices to put God's will first in their lives - this causes Jill to be more bold with her testimony - first with the other Christians she discovered and then with the very people she used to hold in such high regard. She never would have thought to share her faith with them before for fear of being shunned and labeled a trouble maker. She is actually treating everyone in her workplace better - because she is finally caring about their souls - more than her advancement.

Jill's goal changes - she no longer desires a promotion - instead she desires to do a good job at the job she has been given - she sees her job as more than the 9-5 at work - but also sees her job as a wife and mother as important. Jill is happier, and lives a more balanced, satisfying and God pleasing life.

Want to know what your goal is? What do you worry about, what is on your mind 3 or 4 times a day, what do you spend your time and money on? These are your goals even if they are not what you intended.

I tend to not have Jill's problem as Jill does - I can say - ____________________ is my goal and I can tell you how it was picked to please God - BUT

In truth a goal that I picked to please God might not be the goal that He has for me.

One recent idea was regarding Grandpa Keen possibly moving in with us - his health isn't the best and we would love to have him here. - This goal seems "good"

But talk it through

How will this affect how I treat people? It will most definitely affect relationships with our extended family - they may or may not approve - I will need to be able to treat them well, even if they do not treat me very nicely. We really should sit down with everyone and discuss this - not just us decide - that is how I would want to be treated. This will affect how I have time for Drason and the boys - if Grandpa needs care, I will be the one to provide it for the most part - it will affect everyday from homeschool to ball practices to date night.

Who does it please - It pleases Grandpa - he wants very much to live with family he is very lonely and he is having health problems. It pleases me - I feel as though I will be repaying an obligation to him - he cared for me - I should care for him. Does it please God? I didn't even think to ask - of course such a noble well intentioned goal would please God -right?

Some people won't fall into a Jill situation - they will fall into a good idea vs. a God idea - And the difference is life and death. A good idea says good works outweighing bad should attain heaven - but Christ says - none come to the Father except through me.

Harsh example - but very true - how many good people have good ideas, but no clue about Christ? It really brings back the point that the steps of a righteous man are directed by the Lord.

A good reminder for me.