Friday, March 22, 2013

Chapter 6 Settled

The next few weeks were a whirlwind.  Friends and neighbors came to our home that evening to support us.  So many people reached out to us, we were amazed at the kindness they showed.  Through the litany of calls and meetings with insurance people, investigators, evaluators, I kept praying that God would make a way for us to be ok, for us to be restored, for our family to be able to home school. The to-do list they prepared kept me running from pillar to post for days on end. 

Then there was the lady assigned to help us find housing “I assume you will want to find housing in your school district?” she queried.

I looked at Drason; he shrugged “I think we are planning on homeschooling next year, so the school district isn’t really all that important.”

The inner me jumped for joy!

Next there was the adjuster who came out to the house.  He looked to be about 12 years old.  I could not believe THIS was the person who would be deciding how much we would receive for our belongings.  Shaking my head I followed him inside the house.  We came to a bookcase of charred scholastic books I had purchased over the past few years.  He diligently counted each one.  “One hundred and seventy-two” he announced.  Then he reached out and plucked a random book from the shelf, turned it over and read the price

 “$12.99”  he added some notes to his paper and moved on.  When we received the check for 172 books at $12.99 each, I was astounded.  I can’t ever remember paying more than three or four dollars at the most for any of those books.  He must have picked up the most expensive book I ever purchased from scholastic.  Our check would more than cover the cost of curriculum. 

The home school convention was just around the corner.  Had I known about the fire, I never would have signed up, but we had received our tickets in the mail, so we decided to go.  I don’t remember attending any sessions that year, but each day Drason and I went booth to booth reviewing curriculum, taking notes, asking questions, and then checking out the next booth. 

Over the years I have heard many a mom tell me how she chose her curriculum and I can not think of a better way than going with your husband to look though it all together.  Because of the fire we were already eating out for every meal, staying at a hotel, and spending hours taking notes and researching the value of items.  Spending two days away from the children and looking through curriculum just didn’t seem like that much of a burden. 

When we left the convention we had picked out some wonderful items, we had been blessed with the money to spend on the curriculum, and we BOTH had a feeling of peace at having found the right items for our family. 

We moved into a lovely home out in the country and a few weeks later the rest of our curriculum was delivered well before the new school year.  We were able to replace many of our belongings and with the help of some friends I put together my first home school notification. 

So many things were still up in the air, and we still hadn’t received a settlement on our house, but God had provided all the things we needed. 

Life was still hectic, but we were settled.

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Chapter 5 - Are we going to be ok?

The squelching brakes and exhaust fumes of the school bus were two things I would not miss about sending my kids to public school.  The children stared out the window at Macguines playing in the yard as Marshal and Mason hopped down the steps of the mass transportation.  HE gets to PLAY?!?!”  They protested in unison.  ‘Yep,” I replied, “Five more days and you can play too.”  Grumbling and unhappy faces persisted.  Distraction was the name of the game.  Even though I had only been homeschooling, if you can call it that, for the past 3 days, I had quickly learned that distraction could be my worst enemy or my best friend.  It was best friend time.  “Let’s go get ready for Mason’s birthday party tomorrow!”  That did the trick! 

Mason’s party was so much fun, family and friends celebrated his 6th birthday with us and a slip and slide.  Between soaking wet children slipping in and out of the house and refilling party trays with cheese and crackers, my mother pulled me quietly aside.

“I heard you removed Macguines from school.”  she commented seriously. 

“Mm-hm” I replied.  I wasn’t quite ready to talk about this yet.  I needed more time to figure this whole thing out.  How would we educate him?  We were going to home school all three, right? I didn’t need to tell that bit of news quite yet, but eventually everyone would know.  What would she think?  What should she think? 

Carefully, I explained the situation at school and how difficult it had been for Macguines to attend school there.  I explained the year full of bullies, beginning with a shrieking teacher more than a few years past retirement, and ending with an administrator flipping out over kicking rocks.  My case was quite sound, there was no way any reasonable person could think that the public schools were the correct place for my child.  I waited to hear what she would say…. I didn’t have to wait long.

She started, “Well, you know, when your brother was Macguines’ age he had some pretty serious issues and it felt like we were at the school every day.  Do you remember when Mr. Principal spanked him?  And then called us?  And Drew hated that man and even wanted to hurt him.  That principal didn’t last too long.”

“Yes, I remember.” 

“He was in so much trouble all the time and he just could not behave.  We tried everything! I even considered homeschooling for awhile.”  She confided. 

“I didn’t know that…”  I could see where this was going….

“Well, we took Andrew to the doctor, they did several tests, and they discovered he had ADHD.  I had suspected that he had ADHD.  He just could not sit still and he could not pay attention. I see a lot of similarity between Macguines and Andrew. Have you considered having him tested?” 

“Macguines does not have ADHD, Mom.  I am a counselor, I am trained to administer those tests, and he is a normal kid.”  I responded.  There had to be some way out of this conversation, maybe the kids needed more chips?

“Well, he is your son.  You can’t always see it when it is your son.  I understand why you took him out of school, but you can’t just leave school because of one bad experience.  How will he learn?  What about his friends?  He is still going to see those kids on his baseball team, what about that?”  The questions kept coming faster than I had answers.

Blessedly, Mason ran up, soaking wet, and hugged his grandma.  I laughed and went to find a towel as she untangled herself from the sloppy wet child.  I had managed to escape the barrage of questions, but what was I going to do? I had no idea. 

The next day after church I came home and got on the computer.  I ‘Googled’ everything I could about homeschooling and making friends, homeschooling and teaching, homeschooling and curriculum, homeschooling multiple children.  The amount of information I found was reassuring and overwhelming all at once.  I book marked a few pages before we headed back to church for Sunday evening services. 

As I stood on the platform singing, my mind focused more clearly.  I had left my job last fall; perhaps this was the real reason why, even though with only Drason’s income things had been getting tight lately.  I really listened to the words of the songs.  One of the songs we sang that night said:

Lord, You are more precious than silver;
Lord, You are more costly than gold;
Lord, You are more beautiful than diamonds;
And nothing I desire compares with You.” 

After church some friends invited us over for BBQ.  My heart was light and happy, the boys played in the yard with the other children as the dads laughed and joked around the grill and the moms prepared the sides.  It was going to be ok.  Drason came in the back door with a strange look on his face.

“What is it?” I asked

“Um, well, I just got a call from one of our neighbors; they need us to come home right away.”  He began

“Why?” I asked, my concern rising.

“They said there was a fire at the house and they need to talk to us.” He replied.

Our friends quickly volunteered to keep the kids while we went home to check it out.  I realized that I was shaking on the way there.  Drason reached over and held my hand.  “It’s going to be ok.”  He said.

As we pulled up in front of our home I realized the extent of the fire.  Our house was destroyed.  Black smoke came from the hole in the roof.  The doors and windows, gaping charred holes.  A firefighter carried our small puppy, wrapped in a towel, and laid his lifeless body on the ground.

I sobbed.  My heart was breaking. How this could have happened?

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Chapter 4 - You’re going to be ok!

May 27th, 2008 was a beautiful day.  Sunny and 75 degrees, it was my last day of Bible study before summer break.  The kids had about a week left in school and I was looking forward to convincing my husband to let us home school next year.  He was almost there; I knew I could convince him this summer.  It had not mattered how many times I brought it up, Drason was not going to agree to let me start homeschooling until next year.  We talked about curriculum, we talked about sports, we talked about socialization, and it all came down to this, we were going to finish this year out first. 

As I sat in my ladies Bible study, I related my homeschooling revelation to my friends who cried and hugged me and congratulated me, but as we broke into our small groups I had this terrible feeling that something was wrong. 

The longer the speaker spoke, the worse it became.  I found it difficult to concentrate on what she was saying and I just could not shake the feeling.  I quietly excused myself from class and called Drason at work.  “I know this sounds crazy, but I feel like something is really wrong.”  I felt foolish even saying the words to him.  We talked for a few minutes until Drason finally said “Well, why don’t you go out to the school and check. I feel it too.”  That was all I needed to hear.  I flew out of the church and hopped into our Suburban.  I called the school on the way to ask if everything was ok.  The secretary sounded surprised and asked if the teacher had already called me.  “Why?”  I asked. 

She asked if I was on my way and I assured her I would be there in less than 10 minutes. 

Macguines greeted me in the parking lot. This is a very odd thing to have happen at a public school.  He was 8 years old, outside of the building, in the parking lot! As I hugged him I realized that he had been crying and his tears had streaked though some face paint.  Moments later his teacher ran up, breathless and angry.  I do not know what look was on my face, but she immediately began explaining.

“We told him not to get off the wall for the rest of the day!” (it was a little after 11am)  “He is not allowed to participate in the fun because of his behavior”  (I realize there are bounce houses and fun activities happening around the side of the school) 

“He was kicking rocks into the trash bin with another boy and the rocks hit one of the cars in the parking lot and scratched it”  (Oh really, why was my child in the parking lot…) 

I was so angry I could not speak.  This winter had been particularly cold and snowy, causing more than the allotted snow days to be taken.  Today was supposed to be the end of the year fun day, even though school would still technically be in session for another 12 days.  Macguines hadn’t said a word; he was just hugging my waist and crying.  I ignored the lecturing woman and knelt down to him.  “Get in the car, don’t get out no matter what, ok?”  He nodded, the windows were down, and he climbed in my side and through to the back seat.  I locked the doors and faced the woman. 

“You can’t just leave with him!”  She started. 

My voice was clear and cold.  “Can’t I? Come with me.”  I began walking towards the school and up to the office.  The woman followed.  I advised the secretary and the woman that I would be removing my child from the school, permanently.  The woman rolled her eyes.  “Go and get me his things, now.”  She stopped rolling her eyes and left.  The secretary fetched the principle, she began explaining things again.

“So what you are telling me is that my child was unattended, in a parking lot, twice today?”  I replied

The principle stuttered.  The woman returned with a bag of belongings and I left.

Macguines climbed up to the passenger seat and began relaying his day.  He was crying and I was crying. I pulled over and when I saw a sign by the road that said ‘Christian Home Educators of Ohio’ I pulled in and turned off the car.  Macguines was still upset, but agreed to come in with me for a minute. 

Once inside, the office was busy and humming.  I had obviously been crying, as had Macguines, and a kind woman came over and asked us how she could help.  I briefly explained that I had removed my son from school, I had no idea what to do, and I was afraid of going to jail because my son would be truant, missing the last 12 days of school. 

“Well, you aren’t going to jail, you have to miss 14 days for that to happen” she informed me. 

As we sat under a tree outside she walked me through all the legal requirements of homeschooling and encouraged me to keep listening to God’s voice. Macguines had calmed down and was playing under a tree with some matchbox cars.  We talked through a thousand questions and I began to feel calmer. 

One CHEO membership and convention pass later, she assured me “You can do this! You are going to be ok!” She was right; we were going to be ok!

Monday, March 11, 2013

Chapter 3 - My Bible says.....

Boredom kills me.  I sat in my living room looking out the window, wishing for something to do.  The house was clean, laundry done, dinner in the crock pot, even the closets were clean…. I was bored!

In September I had left my job of four years.  It had been a hard decision, one I had struggled with for about 6 months, but it was clear, God wanted me out of there.  Everyday I worked there I had been asked to compromise my morals, to try to find some common ground with continual sin, and I just could not do it anymore.  So I had quit.  I had no job prospects, no real reference, and nothing to do with my days but clean closets and watch the cars drive passed the house. 

After I had finally quit my job, I started reading my Bible more and more. It was amazing the things that started popping out at me.  How had I never realized that before?  When did that get in there?  With so much time on my hands I started praying more too.  “God help me with this” became a deeper need to understand and seek His will through His word.  It was at this time that one of the leaders in our church approached me about going on a mission trip and encouraged me to read my Bible everyday and journal what God had to say to me. 

So I did, and I even went a step further than that, I joined a ladies Bible study, hey, it might give me something to do, right?

That winter, Tuesday mornings became a time of peace and refuge.  As I sat in my very first ladies Bible study ever and listened to some of the other ladies I realized that quite a few of them were homeschooling their children.  In fact, almost ALL of them were homeschooling.  How was it that I had wound up in the only ladies Bible study and was surrounded by homeschooers?

All three of my previously mentioned homeschooling friends were there, along with several other ladies whom I had never met.  As they shared about their lives I heard the Lord coaxing me towards homeschooling.  Maybe I would home school next year. 

Winter became spring and I committed to go on the mission trip.  The mission leader pulled Drason and I aside and encouraged us to pray daily and seek God to give us instruction on the issues in our lives.  How cool, that was the same topic of the ladies Bible study. 

I began to pray about the things in our lives that really mattered and ask God to show me in His word what He would have us do.  

Then one day I opened up the Bible study.  Before hand, just as I had been instructed, I began praying.  Macguines had been having such a hard time at school.  He was so upset that a bully had been mocking him.  Yet, it was only when another mother had called me, that I had found out the true extent of his tormenter’s cruelty and the complete lack of consequences for the bully.  I prayed that God would clearly show me what to do in this situation.  We had met with the school, talked to the teacher, the principal, and even the child’s mother with no avail.  Eventually, they had moved Macguines to another classroom, yet here he was treated like he had done something wrong, not been the victim of a bully.  I earnestly prayed, “God, reveal to me what you would have me do.”

I began the chapter in the Bible study and it challenged me to make my personal motto ‘Whatever God says, I’ll do it’,   “Of course I would obey God!” I thought to myself as I hastily scratched the answers.  Then it said to look up some verses and write what they were instructing the people to do. 

 As I looked up the accompanying verses I came to Deut 31:12-13 Call them all together—men, women, children, and the foreigners living in your towns—so they may hear this Book of Instruction and learn to fear the Lord your God and carefully obey all the terms of these instructions. 13 Do this so that your children who have not known these instructions will hear them and will learn to fear the Lord your God. Do this as long as you live in the land you are crossing the Jordan to occupy.”

I wrote down the answer to teach your children God’s ways.  As I got ready to move on to the next verse, I looked down. 

On the page adjacent, in my study Bible, was an insert which read “Homeschooling; the Biblical Alternative” It struck me so clearly I felt like my ears were ringing.  It explained how homeschooling had come to be the only way many believers felt they could obey God’s commands, as given by Moses, in Deuteronomy and sited the same verses from my study.  I sat on my couch weeping.  I was so thankful God had clearly spoken to me.  My Bible had clearly told me to home school.  Thank you Jesus!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Chapter 2 - Maybe


‘Why don’t you and Drason come over for dinner?’  This was the third such invitation we had received in less than as many months.  Somehow the word had gotten out that we were considering homeschooling our kids, even though we had already decided that homeschooling was just not for us.  The inner me sighed at this request, but I couldn’t say no to the smiling lady before me, her and her husband had been so kind to us. So I agreed.  I asked Drason later that day if we could go, and he sighed out loud.  “This is another homeschooling thing isn’t it?” I shook my head, and reminded him of how kind they had been to us, “Don’t you think we had better go?”  He agreed and we loaded up the car with the boys and a sweet treat for dessert. 

As we drove to their home, I realized that they lived in the country much like we lived.  The drive there was beautiful, off the beaten path, and rugged without being out in the middle of nowhere. Their son leapt from a tree and ran happily clamoring into the house as we pulled in the drive.  They greeted us at the door and the kids split for the basement as we sat down to chat.  Dinner was almost ready and the conversation was easy and relaxed.  Mom called to her eldest daughter to come and bring the kids with her.  The daughter reappeared a few moments later with the 6 other children in tow. 

Dinner was modest and yummy, just as it should be, and children had wondered away to play with this and that as the adults sat and chatted.  That is when I realized that their eldest daughter hadn’t left the table.  She was listening to the conversation and even joining in occasionally.  She was well spoken, gracious, and she expressed her thoughts with clarity and humility, as well as (and probably better than) many adults.  I think my mouth must have been agape.  She and her mother went into the kitchen to prepare the dessert while Drason and her husband continued to chat. 

I sat there looking around their home, and it reminded me of our home.  Some boy scout craft project/ home made bow and arrow was propped in the corner of the living room.  The house was neat, but comfortably lived. The kids were outside jumping from the back deck and playing in the edge of the woods with stick swords.  Mom returned with the yummy dessert and offered me a tour of their home.  Soon we were walking into her basement home school room.  There were several tables and desks and walls of shelves filled with books.  The room was messy, yet clearly organized, chaos with purpose.

When we returned to the guys their eldest daughter sat with us and chatted.  I was sure she had to be an adult, so I asked her if she was going to college in the fall.  Imagine my surprise to hear that she was 15!  The sun set while we asked her and her parents a million questions about homeschooling. 

When we left she hugged me and handed me a stack of first grade readers for Marshal and Mason.  I tried to hand them back, but she insisted, simply asking that I pass them on to another family when we were done with them.  My head was swimming as we herded three sleepy boys to the car and finally headed for home.   I looked at Drason and he looked at me…. ‘Maybe’ he said.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Chapter 1 – We are never homeschooling, so just forget it!


Their children were (and truth be told, still are) perfect.  Their lovely daughters sat on the front row at church where every single eye could see them, and they sat still for an hour! How is that possible?  Those girls were 5 and 8, there is no way my kids could do that and we had kept them in the service with us for years! 

During the week, their equally lovely mother invited me over to her home to help with VBS registration.  Her house was immaculate; I didn’t even see any dust.  As I accompanied her upstairs she pointed to her daughters, who were busily working on some school work, and instructed them to keep working, to which they replied ‘Yes, ma’am”   I felt like I was in some kind of alternate reality.

That was the day I decided there was no way I could possibly home school my kids.  The only way someone could possibly home school effectively was with kids that said things like ‘yes ma’am’ and a house that was self cleaning.  Looking back, I realize that she had invited me over with the express purpose of encouraging me to home school.  After we had talked about VBS, she graciously explained home schooling.  I am sure that I nodded and said things that sounded complimentary, but in truth, I could not imagine how anyone could home school.  This woman was perfect, of course she could home school! She and her hubby even had a cute little blog called “HomesCool” where she gave biblical advice, tips about homemaking and schooling children, and posted witty anecdotes about how her dear children had asked a funny question.  My family of 5, including 3 messy, loud, occasionally obnoxious and often ornery boys, would never behave like hers.

 

A few months later we met a couple in our Sunday school class that we just clicked with right away.  They had sons, we had sons.  We liked the same things and we spoke the same language and so we regularly invited them over to the house and their noisy crew of 7 fit perfectly with our noisy crew of 5.  Over the course of our friendship we discovered that they too had chosen to home educate.  So one afternoon after church we agreed to go over to their house and visit and talk about homeschooling. 

When we arrived the front door, literally, would not open.  Their kids and ours went around the house to play in the back yard while the dad jimmied the front door ajar exclaiming that if ‘people’ didn’t learn to put their stuff away he was going to lose his mind. With a mighty shove, pushing the door open and removing the obstacle behind, we were admitted to the house.  My friend blushed with embarrassment and apologized for the mess.  As we entered the living room we discovered that the well loved furniture was covered in clean, unfolded laundry. (Seven people need lots of clothes)  The ‘school room’ was actually a dining room converted into a hodgepodge office/piano room/ gun safe/ room of many desks and tables and bookshelves. 

Together we straitened the kitchen and cooked a meal to feed all 12 of us.  I realized that it was a good thing that it was sunny and summer time because the only place all of these people could possibly sit and eat was on her back porch. 

I felt so sorry for my friend.  I could not imagine being cooped up in that house with 5 children.  As we pulled away from their home my husband looked at me and said ‘We are never homeschooling, so just forget it.’  I nodded in agreement, there was no way we could ever home school.  

Saturday, March 2, 2013

Assessment Options



Very frequently, almost every week, someone asks me a variation of this question:

 "How do we complete assesments? What options do we have?"

As a homeschooling family you have three options and you can read the full legal jargon on the HSLDA website here http://www.hslda.org/laws/analysis/Ohio.pdf

Here is my non-legal jargon answer - just to be clear I am not a lawyer =)
Option 1 - Your children can complete a nationally normed test and submit those results with your notification for next year. This costs about $50 -$100 per kid. A nationally normed test is a test that has been administered to a national control group that reflects the demographic profile of the target population (e.g., 4th graders) throughout the country. The scores of all subsequent test-takers are then compared against the scores of this control (or "norming") group. Examples of these tests are:
· Cognitive Abilities Test (CoGAT)
· ERB Tests: Comprehensive Testing Program (CTP), Independent School Entrance Exam (ISEE)
· Iowa Test of Basic Skills (ITBS)
· Northwest Evaluation Association (NWEA) Tests: Measures of Academic Progress (MAP), MAP for Primary Grades
· Stanford Achievement Test
· Terra Nova
 
You can take these tests through a service like Sylvan Learning Centers or a homeschooling group like Classical Conversations or contact your local district and ask them where you can take the tests. Benefits of this method are that you have a written report and can compare your students progress to the progress of other students. There is also no need to keep track of lots of paperwork or a portfolio of work completed during the year.

On the downside, some kids might experience anxiety taking a test and not do well with this method of measuring progress. Some children may require special accommodation to complete a test, and some sites may not allow any deviation in how a test is administered. These tests are usually administered in early spring, so look for sign ups in January or February.

Option 2 - Keep a sampling of all the work your student completes through the year and compile this into a portfolio. Then take that portfolio to an Ohio, state certified teacher (there are lots of them that are homeschooling too and advertise their services in the spring/summer months) This will cost about $50 - $100 per child, and discounts may be offered if an assessor is seeing multiple children from the same family.
Assessors will  provide you with a report and sign off on your notification form. This can be a very homeschooling friendly way to complete the requirements as many assessors are also homeschooling and may better understand your method of instruction. On the other hand, this can be a downfall of home education if assessments are not properly preformed. Parents need substantive feedback to continuously improve the home education of their children.
 
While many homeschooling families see this as the easiest option, there is a great difference between assessors and assessments are subjective in nature. One assessor may offer great tools, feedback, and offer to help coach children, another may provide a negative review with little reason why, or a positive review in spite of significant lack of progress. To help with this I would highly recommend working with the local CHEO office to find a reputable assessor who will help and encourage your family. You can learn more about CHEO at www.cheohome.org If you are considering an assessor it is completely appropriate to ask for references and to check with other homeschooling families before scheduling an assessment. Assessments are due in August, so most assessors are BUSY in June and July; book an assessment in May for a stress free summer and a stress free assessor.

Option 3 - This Option says you may 'complete a mutually agreed upon alternative assessment' this is a test which you and the superintendent of your school district agree to complete. This is the option that the fewest homeschooling families understand.

The alternative that most superintendents agree to is the Ohio Achievement Assessment (OAA). The cons of taking this test are clear. Some families have a tense relationship with their local schools, and if a child does poorly on a test the Superintendent may ask for a secondary assessment or ask further questions about the home education that is occurring. Many families avoid interaction with the public schools at all cost, and if that is the case for your family then this may not be the option for your family.

The OAA is a standardized test option that provides a detailed report to parents about the areas where their children are doing well, and where they need improvement. While testing is difficult for some students, one benefit of the OAA , special accommodation, is required in the public school. The school is required to make special arrangements for certain children, this is a great benefit to a child who has severe test anxiety or who is dyslexic.

Re-enrollment is very easy with a student who has completed the OAA's. We never know what the future holds, if we would ever have to re-enroll in the public schools, this test would determine their grade level. We have all heard horror stories of the Mom who gets sick and has to re- enroll kids only for them to be held back and placed in remedial classes because of a bias against homeschooling. With completion of this assessment, if a child passes the 4th grade OAA, they are in 5th grade. Finally, any child that passes all OAA's 3-8th grade and the Ohio Graduation Test and completes the required high school credits is entitled to a diploma from their local school district. These tests constitute part of the student’s high school transcripts and can be an advantage when applying to colleges. This test is free, but you will need to coordinate with the school district. Speak to the director of pupil services at your local school if you are interested in this option. These tests are administered in September and late March or early April so contact the school in August or early September to schedule.

For more information on the Ohio Achievement Assessment (OAA) check here:
http://education.ohio.gov/GD/Templates/Pages/ODE/ODEDetail.aspx?page=3&TopicRelationID=240&ContentID=4348&Content=136234

I hope this long winded answer will help some of our homeschooling friends.  Which ever method of assessment is chosen by your family, I wish you the very best of luck!