Saturday, April 6, 2019

Mercy for the Special Cases

Before I was a homeschooling mom, I was a counselor.  One thing I learned through this is that everyone is a special case.... I have sat across from liars who lied for a special reason, and drunks who drank for a special reason and they all said to me that they were the exception to the rule. The abuser who abused, the cheater who cheated, the liar who lied, the thief who stole, the gossip who back stabbed - all had a special reason why the rules should not apply to them.

NEWS FLASH - the rules still apply.

As a counselor I had a choice, I could allow myself to be sucked into their world by either commiserating with them; agree that they indeed were the special case, or confronting the absurd belief that had left them broken, humiliated, lonely, lost and generally in a heap of trouble -  I could chose to have mercy, provide them with the tools that they needed to succeed.  Many of my clients over the years were in severe legal trouble, many had been or were shortly headed to prison. They did not chose to seek counseling, most were one court order away from walking out the door and never looking back.  If I treated them with indifference, they would never change; confront them with the truth and help them move beyond that and they thank me even to this day. My choice made all the difference.

There is a thin line between confrontation which seeks justice, payment, and retribution and one that confronts in the hopes of them finding reconciliation and restoration.

Is it possible to desire justice and also desire reconciliation?

It is, but only when you recognize your job as a counselor.  When you read the job description for counselor you will find that no where in that description is the word punish or judge. It was the judge in their case who determined their sentence.  My job was reconciliation.  Just trust the judge and leave the punishment to the one in charge of punishment.



As a counselor, I learned to trust the judge.  The judge did not call me and ask me what I thought of how he discharged his duties.  In fact, most of the time I was not ever consulted, simply a report submitted.
My report was spread out on a conference table somewhere next to dozens of other reports. There was a report from the jailer, the arresting officer, the accuser; there were reports and testimonials from the friends and families of the accused, reports from professionals doctors, hospitals.  All of these reports had bearing on the sentence of the convicted, and my report was there among them. 
 
Broken people sat in my office and begged me to write favorable reports; pretense was laid aside and hearts were poured out. 'PLEASE HAVE MERCY!' was uttered in a thousand different ways.  I have the ability to have mercy, I do not have the ability to judge fairly, and I had to tell them, 'I am not the judge.'  Shoulders slumped, faces wilted, hearts fell, it seemed there was no hope, no mercy to be had.  

There is another conference room....

Reports numbering in the millions lay spread across the conference table of Heaven. God leaned in over them. He, knowing every word, every testimony, every crime, knew that The Law demanded justice. The verdict was clear and it didn't look pretty. But then God did something amazing. He turned to Jesus, who had also seen every report, and asked him to satisfy the Law, serve the sentence, pay the price. The price was death, but Jesus agreed!

Where do the roads of justice and reconciliation meet? At the intersection of Love, on a cross.

Hebrews 12:2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.  
Amazing how in that one verse both justice and reconciliation are satisfied through Christ's love.

Rejoice! Heaven's Angels sing! There was a party in Heaven the day I accept Christ's work. They opened up the conference room, cleared off the table, broke out the bubbly, cut the cake and threw confetti! Praise JESUS! He did it again! 

Now here comes the hard part, we can all appreciate mercy which applies to our own lives. But can we apply mercy when it come to the lives of others? 
 
There is another conference room table in the halls of every heart, and it is stacked high with reports.
'You were unfaithful', 'you cheated me', 'you stole from me', 'you lied to me', 'you stabbed me in the back'. Every reader has a choice. Clear the table and have a party, or re-read every word. Pour out mercy applied or dwell on every accusation. Chose love or allow bitterness and anger to produce a ruling.

The Author of Mercy, is pretty clear on this one. 

Romans 15:7-8 7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. 8 Remember that Christ came as a servant to the Jews to show that God is true to the promises he made to their ancestors.
Colossians 3:12-14 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Romans 12:9-18 9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all! 17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Philippians 2: 1-4 1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
All Sunday school children know John 3:16, maybe we would do well to make sure they also learned 1John 3:16 16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.

This isn't a new concept for us - we know this.   We know we should forgive.  But so many times we would rather play the judge, we would rather sit down and pout, spew out bitter words, hold hatred in our hearts, refuse to even speak to the person who has offended us.  What if Christ treated us in this way? What would the courtroom look like then?

The most common excuse for being a special case? "You don't understand, you don't know what they did..."  Here's the thing - God knows.  You are not the judge, you are supposed to help the Counselor. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 
Romans 5:8  But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
John 15:16a "You didn’t choose me. I chose you" 

The next time someone hurts you, offends you, or betrays you, and you find yourself at the cross roads of justice and reconciliation; hear the truth that you are not a special case, but you are dearly loved and chosen by God Himself....

.....and then remember that your choice makes all the difference.

Monday, January 21, 2019

Love

I had a conversation the other day with one of my sons about love. It is so very important that we talk to our children about love - especially in a culture that teaches the opposite of love. We went through the following verses together...
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
It helped us to go through this scripture thinking about what the opposite of love might be. Love is kind... the opposite of kind is unkind, the opposite of love is hate - so hate is unkind...
So to put this in other words - Hate is pushy and easily frustrated, Hate us unkindness, Hate is envious and braggadocios, Hate is arrogant and rude, Hate insists on it's own way, Hate is irritable and resentful, Hate rejoices in wrongdoing, Hate rejoices in lies. Hate will not bear with you, Hate will not believe in you, Hate has no hope for the future, Hate will not endure a trial.
1 Corinthians 13 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned,[a] but have not love, I gain nothing.4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[b] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.8 Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. 11 When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. 12 For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.13 So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.


"But when we rise to agape, to Christian love, it is higher than all of this. It becomes the love of God operating in the human heart. The greatness of it is that you love every man, not for your sake but for his sake. And you love every man because God loves him. And so it becomes all inclusive. The person may be ugly, or the person may be beautiful. The person may be tall, or the person may be short. The person may be light, or the person may be dark. The person may be rich, or the person may be poor. The person may be up and in; the person may be down and out. The person may be white; the person may be black. The person may be Jew; the person may be Gentile. The person may be Catholic; the person may be Protestant. In other words, you come to the point of loving every man and becomes an all-inclusive love. It is the love of God operating in the human heart. And it comes to the point that you even love the enemy. Christian love does something that no other love can do. It says that you love every man. You hate the deed that he does if he's your enemy and he's evil, but you love the person who does the evil deed." MLK Jr. 1962