NEWS FLASH - the rules still apply.
As a counselor I had a choice, I could allow myself to be sucked into their world by either commiserating with them; agree that they indeed were the special case, or confronting the absurd belief that had left them broken, humiliated, lonely, lost and generally in a heap of trouble, OR I could chose to have mercy, provide them with the tools that they needed to succeed. Many of my clients over the years were in severe legal trouble, many had been or were shortly headed to prison. They did not chose to seek counseling, most were one court order away from walking out the door and never looking back. If I treated them with indifference, they would never change; confront them with the truth and help them move beyond that, and they thank me even to this day. My choice made all the difference.
There is a thin line between confrontation which seeks justice, payment, and retribution and one that confronts in the hopes of them finding reconciliation and restoration.
Is it possible to desire justice and also desire reconciliation?
It is when you recognize your job as a counselor. When you read the job description for counselor you will find that no where in that description is the word punish or judge. It was the judge in their case who determined their sentence, not I. My job was reconciliation, I had but to trust the judge and leave the punishment to the one in charge of punishment.
As a counselor, I learned to trust the judge. The judge did not call me and ask me what his discharge of the case should be. In fact, most of the time I was not ever consulted, simply a report submitted.
My report was spread out on a conference table somewhere next to dozens of other reports. There was a report from the jailer, the arresting officer, the accuser; there were reports and testimonials from the friends, the families and the accused loved ones, all of these had bearing on the sentence of the convicted, and my report was there among them.
Broken people sat in my office and begged me to write favorable reports; pretense was laid aside and hearts were poured out. 'PLEASE HAVE MERCY!' was uttered in a thousand different ways.
Mercy is easy, judgement is hard. I have the ability to have mercy, I do not have the ability to judge fairly, and I had to tell them, 'I am not the judge.' Shoulders slumped, faces wilted, hearts fell, it seemed there was no hope, no mercy to be had.
Reports numbering in the millions lay spread across the conference table of Heaven. God leaned in over them. He, knowing every word, every testimony, every crime, knew that The Law demanded justice. The verdict was clear and it didn't look pretty. But then God did something amazing. He turned to Jesus, who had also seen every report, and asked him to satisfy the Law, serve the sentence, pay the price.
Amazingly, Jesus agreed!
Where do the roads of justice and reconciliation meet? At the intersection of Love, on a cross.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2) Amazing how in that one verse both justice and reconciliation are satisfied through Christ's love.
The funny thing is - I am a special case, the rules no longer apply. If you know God, if you accept him as savior - YOU are a special case, too.
I don't have to judge - I can be the counselor, I can say 'Yes, Mercy is available.' (and now,I have bearing with the Judge!) All because of Christ. Rejoice! Heaven's Angels sing! There was a party in Heaven the day I accept Christ's work. They opened up the conference room, cleared off the table, broke out the bubbly, cut the cake and threw confetti! Praise JESUS! He did it again!
Now here comes the hard part, we can all appreciate mercy applies to our own lives. But can we apply mercy when it come to the lives of others?
There is another conference room table in the halls of every heart, and it is stacked high with reports.
'You were unfaithful', 'you cheated me', 'you stole from me', 'you lied to me', 'you stabbed me in the back'. Every reader has a choice. Clear the table and have a party, or re-read every word. Pour our mercy applied or dwell on every accusation. Chose love or allow bitterness and anger to rule the realm.
The Author of Mercy, is pretty clear on this one.
Romans 15:7-8 7 Therefore, accept each other just as Christ has accepted you so that God will be given glory. 8 Remember that Christ came as a servant to the Jews to show that God is true to the promises he made to their ancestors.
Colossians 3:12-14 12 Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13 Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14 Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Romans 12:9-18
9 Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. 10 Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. 11 Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. 12 Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. 13 When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Always be eager to practice hospitality. 14 Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them. 15 Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think you know it all!
17 Never pay back evil with more evil. Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable. 18 Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
Philippians 2: 1-4 1 Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.
All Sunday school children know John 3:16, maybe we would do well to make sure they also learned 1John 3:16
16 We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.
We know this, we know we should forgive, but while most of us understand the part of me that says 'confront the absurd', we struggle with accepting whatever response is given in that confrontation.
'You're an abuser' met with 'she deserved it'
'You cheated' met with 'define cheat'
'You're a liar' met with 'no I'm not'
'You're a theif' met with 'I needed it'
'You're a gossip' met with 'I needed a confidant'
When this happens, as it invariably will, please take a page from the counselor book. Do not engage. Then take a page from the Good Book
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Romans 5:8
8 But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.
And my all time favorite verse in the Bible John 15:16a "
The next time someone hurts you, offends you, or betrays you, and you find yourself at the cross roads of justice and reconciliation; hear the truth that you are dearly loved and chosen by God Himself....
.....and then remember that choice makes all the difference.
Trusting Him,
Amanda
