My boys were little and playing in the living room. They were small enough to climb up and jump off the arm of the couch. One grabbed a cape and leapt "I'm Batman" he cried. Another jumped and said "I'm little red riding hood." We still laugh about that to this day, and in his defense it was a red cape, but this story illustrates just how different two kids can be! I began realizing just how different they each were as we began homeschooling!
My youngest had a speech delay and dysgraphia. He literally could not do the work necessary to learn to read. For this child we had to find some outside help in the form of speech therapies, glasses, tutoring and testing. He would become very frustrated with himself if he couldn't complete things as quickly as his older brothers. This would lead to melt downs and crying because he literally could not do what we were asking of him. As a young homeschooling mom, I ended up sending him back to the public school for a year because they offered lots of "free" therapy for him and I felt completely ill equipped to teach him. After a year, he still could not read and his speech had not improved. I brought him back home and accompanied him to a local speech therapist and tutor. By attending his sessions with him, I learned how to help him correct his speech and how to better tutor him myself. This one on one time with mom and professional helpers greatly aided him and he eventually grew out of his speech and reading/writing issues. The methodology was different, but the foundation was the same. We focused on math, reading and writing while doing fun things at our local co-op to support casual science and history learning.
My middle son loved school work. I could hand him a workbook and he would finish the assignment and then work ahead until he lost interest. We focused on the big three - math, reading and writing, but by February of the school year he had completed an entire years worth of curriculum. I frantically called my homeschooling friend and asked what to do. She suggested the library and allowing him to focus on "delight directed learning." Delight directed learning is allowing the student to choose the topics they will learn about. So off to the library we went and found ourselves in the children's non-fiction section. He carefully selected some books after expressing his absolute delight that I would teach him about anything he wanted. First we studied Native Americans... we checked out 30 -40 books and over the next month he devoured them learning all kinds of interesting things. I even found him playing with his new imaginary best friend, Squanto. The next month we learned all about sea life, crustaceans to dolphins, the Mariana Trench to the coral reef. Then we learned all about Shakespeare and he even participated in a local community theater children's production.
My oldest son... I love him. He is grown now and turned out OK, but goodness sakes there were days I thought I was going to lose my mind! He didn't do his school work, not because he wasn't able, not because he needed a love of learning, but because he was a very strong willed child who did not want to, period. We tried diet changes, counseling, tutors, unit studies, delight directed learning, therapy, trainings for me, co-ops - you name it... nothing worked. Public school didn't work either - he was just as disobedient and unruly there.
You know what worked? Good old fashioned, hard core, consistent structure and discipline. Each day we had a schedule and we stuck to it -up at 7am, school by 8am, lunch at noon and afternoons outside playing, not on a screen, or inside playing with toys if the weather was bad. The weeks work was written on a whiteboard that he could see and read. We only did Math and Reading at this age - all science and history was field trips and fun stuff at a co-op. The morning was divided into 30 minute sections, for each 30 minutes that he worked and didn't throw a fit he got 5 minutes of screen time. (so the most you could earn was 40 minutes a day) We, mom and dad together, sat down and explained the rules.
It took about 6 months to get him into this routine, but I had to be on it every single day. Always have things written on the board, always keeping the minutes tracked, always keeping us on schedule, and keeping my cool even when he was melting down. If he did melt down he went to his room to regain control, this usually took 10 - 20 minutes so he lost the opportunity for those 5 minutes of screen time. There were days he earned no screen time, but most days he earned most of it, and some days he earned all of it. After 6 months it was only occasionally that he wouldn't earn all of his screen time - maybe once every few weeks. Then after another year - he almost always earned it all. This was the only thing that worked for him.
The point is - there is no one right way to homeschool children, they each need something a little bit different and as a homeschooling parent you have the ability to custom fit your student's education to exactly what is best for them. Even within the same family, what works well for one child may not work well for the others. Flexibility, grace (including with yourself) and persistence were a few of the keys that unlocked a love of learning in my children. Don't be afraid to ask for help, change up your schedule, or even look for parenting classes and trainings to help you on this journey. They surely helped me to educate three very different boys.
Blessings,
Amanda
