A friend of mine shared this with me several years ago, I was looking for it the other day and I just happened to come across it again tonight.
The book of Proverbs holds a special place in my heart. When I was younger, my mother implemented a punishment that really worked. If we misbehaved, we had to copy a chapter of the book of Proverbs and we were totally grounded until it was copied. It takes about an hour to copy one chapter, but I can remember rushing through and trying to copy it as quickly as possible. I remember thinking how unfair it was. Years later, and I see the wisdom my mother was trying to impart. It is the one book of the Bible that I tend to know better than the others, simply because I copied it so many times =)
Some of the wisdom of this book arranged topically. My children have asked me how many times I had to copy chapters... and the answer is many, but also not so many, and I understand now that my mother was trying to impart wisdom to my heart.
Accountability to Others / Taking Advice
Proverbs 10:17 NLT People who accept correction are on the pathway to life, but those who ignore it will lead others astray.
Proverbs 12:15 NLT Fools think they need no advice, but the wise listen to others.
Proverbs 13:10 NLT Pride leads to arguments; those who take advice are wise.
Proverbs 13:13 NLT People who despise advice will find themselves in trouble; those who respect it will succeed.
Proverbs 13:14 NLT The advice of the wise is like a life-giving fountain; those who accept it avoid the snares of death.
Proverbs 13:18 NLT If you ignore criticism, you will end in poverty and disgrace; if you accept criticism, you will be honored.
Proverbs 15:10 NLT Whoever abandons the right path will be severely punished; whoever hates correction will die.
Proverbs 15:12 NLT Mockers don’t love those who rebuke them, so they stay away from the wise.
Proverbs 15:22 NLT Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many counselors bring success.
Proverbs 15:31 NLT If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise.
Proverbs 15:32 NLT If you reject criticism, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.
Proverbs 18:2 NLT Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions.
Proverbs 19:20 NLT Get all the advice and instruction you can, and be wise the rest of your life.
Proverbs 19:27 NLT If you stop listening to instruction, my child, you have turned your back on knowledge.
Proverbs 20:18 NLT Plans succeed through good counsel; don’t go to war without the advice of others.
Proverbs 24:5-6 NLT A wise man is mightier than a strong man, and a man of knowledge is more powerful than a strong man. 6 So don’t go to war without wise guidance; victory depends on having many counselors.
Proverbs 25:11-12 NLT Timely advice is as lovely as golden apples in a silver basket. 12 Valid criticism is as treasured by the one who heeds it as jewelry made from finest gold.
Proverbs 27:17 NLT As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 29:1 NLT Whoever stubbornly refuses to accept criticism will suddenly be broken beyond repair.
Admonishing a Fellow Believer
Proverbs 9:8-9 NLT So don’t bother rebuking mockers; they will only hate you. But the wise, when rebuked, will love you all the more. 9 Teach the wise, and they will be wiser. Teach the righteous, and they will learn more.
Proverbs 12:26 NLT The godly give good advice to their friends; the wicked lead them astray.
Proverbs 17:10 NLT A single rebuke does more for a person of understanding than a hundred lashes on the back of a fool.
Proverbs 25:13 NLT Faithful messengers are as refreshing as snow in the heat of summer. They revive the spirit of their employer.
Proverbs 27:9 NLT The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
Proverbs 27:17 NLT As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.
Bad Company Corrupts Good Character
Proverbs 1:10-15 NLT My child, if sinners entice you, turn your back on them! 11 They may say, “Come and join us. Let’s hide and kill someone! Let’s ambush the innocent! 12 Let’s swallow them alive as the grave swallows its victims. Though they are in the prime of life, they will go down into the pit of death. 13 And the loot we’ll get! We’ll fill our houses with all kinds of things! 14 Come on, throw in your lot with us; we’ll split our loot with you.” 15 Don’t go along with them, my child! Stay far away from their paths.
Proverbs 13:20 NLT Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 14:7 NLT Stay away from fools, for you won’t find knowledge there.
Proverbs 20:19 NLT A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.
Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, 25 or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.
Proverbs 23:20-21 NLT Do not carouse with drunkards and gluttons, 21 for they are on their way to poverty. Too much sleep clothes a person with rags.
Proverbs 24:21-22 NLT My child, fear the LORD and the king, and don’t associate with rebels. 22 For you will go down with them to sudden disaster. Who knows where the punishment from the LORD and the king will end?
Benefits of Fellowship
Proverbs 13:20 NLT Whoever walks with the wise will become wise; whoever walks with fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 15:17 NLT A bowl of soup with someone you love is better than steak with someone you hate.
Proverbs 18:24 NLT There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Careless Speech
Proverbs 11:9 NLT Evil words destroy one’s friends; wise discernment rescues the godly.
Proverbs 11:11 NLT Upright citizens bless a city and make it prosper, but the talk of the wicked tears it apart.
Proverbs 11:12 NLT It is foolish to belittle a neighbor; a person with good sense remains silent.
Proverbs 12:18 NLT Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
Proverbs 13:3 NLT Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything.
Proverbs 15:28 NLT The godly think before speaking; the wicked spout evil words.
Proverbs 18:7 NLT The mouths of fools are their ruin; their lips get them into trouble.
Proverbs 21:23 NLT If you keep your mouth shut, you will stay out of trouble.
Proverbs 25:18 NLT Telling lies about others is as harmful as hitting them with an ax, wounding them with a sword, or shooting them with a sharp arrow.
Proverbs 26:18-19 NLT Just as damaging as a mad man shooting a lethal weapon 19 is someone who lies to a friend and then says, “I was only joking.”
Proverbs 29:20 NLT There is more hope for a fool than for someone who speaks without thinking.
Controlled Temper
Proverbs 12:16 NLT A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.
Proverbs 13:3 NLT Those who control their tongue will have a long life; a quick retort can ruin everything.
Proverbs 13:16 NLT Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it!
Proverbs 14:17 NLT Those who are short-tempered do foolish things, and schemers are hated.
Proverbs 14:29 NLT Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.
Proverbs 15:1 NLT A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
Proverbs 15:18 NLT A hothead starts fights; a cool-tempered person tries to stop them.
Proverbs 15:28 NLT The godly think before speaking; the wicked spout evil words.
Proverbs 17:27 NLT A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered.
Proverbs 19:11 NLT People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.
Proverbs 20:22 NLT Don’t say, “I will get even for this wrong.” Wait for the LORD to handle the matter.
Proverbs 26:4-5 NLT When arguing with fools, don’t answer their foolish arguments, or you will become as foolish as they are. 5 When arguing with fools, be sure to answer their foolish arguments, or they will become wise in their own estimation.
Proverbs 29:11 NLT A fool gives full vent to anger, but a wise person quietly holds it back.
Proverbs 29:22 NLT A hot-tempered person starts fights and gets into all kinds of sin.
Criticism
Proverbs 3:30 NLT Don’t make accusations against someone who hasn’t wronged you.
Proverbs 11:12 NLT It is foolish to belittle a neighbor; a person with good sense remains silent.
Encouragement
Proverbs 12:25 NLT Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Proverbs 27:17 NLT As iron sharpens iron, a friend sharpens a friend.
Fairness
Proverbs 24:23 NLT Here are some further sayings of the wise:It is wrong to show favoritism when passing judgment.
Forgiveness
Proverbs 17:9 NLT Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.
Proverbs 19:11 NLT People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs.
Friendship
Proverbs 18:24 NLT There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 25:17 NLT Don’t visit your neighbors too often, or you will wear out your welcome.
Proverbs 27:10 NLT Never abandon a friend – either yours or your father’s. Then in your time of need, you won’t have to ask your relatives for assistance. It is better to go to a neighbor than to a relative who lives far away.
Gossip
Proverbs 11:13 NLT A gossip goes around revealing secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.
Proverbs 16:28 NLT A troublemaker plants seeds of strife; gossip separates the best of friends.
Proverbs 17:9 NLT Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.
Proverbs 18:8 NLT What dainty morsels rumors are – but they sink deep into one’s heart.
Proverbs 20:19 NLT A gossip tells secrets, so don’t hang around with someone who talks too much.
Proverbs 25:23 NLT As surely as a wind from the north brings rain, so a gossiping tongue causes anger!
Proverbs 26:20 NLT Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.
Healing Speech
Proverbs 12:18 NLT Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.
Proverbs 12:25 NLT Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.
Proverbs 15:1 NLT A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
Proverbs 20:15 NLT Wise speech is rarer and more valuable than gold and rubies.
Proverbs 25:15 NLT Patience can persuade a prince, and soft speech can crush strong opposition.
Proverbs 27:9 NLT The heartfelt counsel of a friend is as sweet as perfume and incense.
Kindness
Proverbs 3:3-4 NLT Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart. 4 Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation.
Proverbs 3:27-28 NLT Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. 28 If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say, “Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”
Proverbs 11:17 NLT Your own soul is nourished when you are kind, but you destroy yourself when you are cruel.
Proverbs 11:25 NLT The generous prosper and are satisfied; those who refresh others will themselves be refreshed.
Proverbs 14:21 NLT It is sin to despise one’s neighbors; blessed are those who help the poor.
Proverbs 15:1 NLT A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
Proverbs 17:17 NLT A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.
Loyalty
Proverbs 3:3-4 NLT Never let loyalty and kindness get away from you! Wear them like a necklace; write them deep within your heart. 4 Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will gain a good reputation.
Proverbs 17:17 NLT A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need.
Proverbs 19:22 NLT Loyalty makes a person attractive. And it is better to be poor than dishonest.
Proverbs 20:6 NLT Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is really faithful?
Proverbs 27:10 NLT Never abandon a friend – either yours or your father’s. Then in your time of need, you won’t have to ask your relatives for assistance. It is better to go to a neighbor than to a relative who lives far away.
Reconciling Broken Relationships
Proverbs 18:19 NLT It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.
Sowing Discord / Arguing
Proverbs 6:16, 19b NLT There are six things the LORD hates – no, seven things he detests: … a person who sows discord among brothers.
Proverbs 17:14 NLT Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.
Proverbs 17:19 NLT Anyone who loves to quarrel loves sin; anyone who speaks boastfully invites disaster.
Proverbs 18:6 NLT Fools get into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating.
Proverbs 18:19 NLT It’s harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars.
Proverbs 20:3 NLT Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling.
Proverbs 22:10 NLT Throw out the mocker, and fighting, quarrels, and insults will disappear.
Proverbs 22:24-25 NLT Keep away from angry, short-tempered people, 25 or you will learn to be like them and endanger your soul.
Proverbs 26:17 NLT Yanking a dog’s ears is as foolish as interfering in someone else’s argument.
Proverbs 26:21 NLT A quarrelsome person starts fights as easily as hot embers light charcoal or fire lights wood.
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Wednesday, October 23, 2019
We are home.
This weekend, a Christian leader at a conference, recorded and publicized, told another Christian leader to “Go Home” in large part because she is a woman.
This behavior, demonstrated by the highest levels of respected teachers within the faith, is RAMPANT. Taking pot shots at other believers over disagreements and minor doctrinal issues has become a popular past time of those who claim to be faithful. Wake up! We cannot afford to send ANYBODY home. We need every single faithful spirit-filled believer out on the front lines proclaiming the gospel so that MANY will come to know Christ.
While I could write an entire blog about how/why God calls women into ministry, and that is an important issue, it is the subtext of this blog and not the main focus. A few thoughts to ponder on your own:
1. Nothing in the flesh qualifies anyone to be a teacher or servant leader (which btw is the one of the only words used to describe pastors, Greek: Diakonos, in the New Testament and is also used to describe Phoebe)
2. Only the indwelling of God’s Holy Spirit gives any of us the ability to do anything worthy or worthwhile. Not our maleness or femaleness.
3. Galatians 3:27-29 ESV "For as many of you as were baptized into Christ have put on Christ. There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slavenor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ's, then you are Abraham's offspring, heirs according to promise."
There is a study here on heirs and how property was passed from father to son in Israel. Study how women were heirs -Old Testament – daughters given a portion of the land of Israel – and how they were not typically heirs. Once you understand the custom Paul is describing, you begin to understand the weight of him saying that there are no longer male and female – but both are joint heirs with Christ.
I've seen the hashtag #notgoinghome a few times since Monday in reference to the comments made - but perhaps a better one would have been #WeAreHome!
4. There is a great video by Ravi Zacarias that also addresses the idea that women are somehow less, second class citizens in God’s eyes. https://youtu.be/MD3CsFfLxlo
But let’s just push pause on the whole “Can women teach?” question. Can we just talk about the make-up of our churches these days?
In a church – let’s say there are 100 adults. Of the 100 adults 60 are women, 40 are men. 34 of the men are married to 34 of the women.
Now consider children. Each married couple has 2 – so 68 more congregants, but a large portion of the additional 20 women who attend are either married to a partner who will not attend church or are single mothers. Fully 18 have children – so that’s another 36 congregants.
Our church is shaping up nicely with 100 adults and 104 children. – that’s an above average sized congregation of 204 people. (The average church serves just 184!)
Now with 40 men to serve the congregation – this little flock should be doing really well – but let’s look at those 40 men
68% are watching pornography – and they are watching it regularly. Engaging in a sexual sin that totally disqualifies them from church leadership. Shockingly, there is a 50/50 chance the pastor is also hooked on porn.
Between 7- 10% of those men are involved in some sort of domestic or sexual violence. (that’s WITHIN the church, not a general population statistic) 30% of murdered women in Georgia, who were victims of domestic violence, had strong connections to their local church!
Between 10-15% of parishioners have a serious issue with alcoholism or drug abuse (men and women)
Even if we say that all of these things are co-occurring, we decrease from 40 men who could serve down to about 12 who could serve. Yet, if these things occur independently , and at the highest possible rates, we are down to a mere 2-3 men who are qualified to serve in the local church.
Taking all of this into account -we should not be surprised that 38% of all marriages within the church are ending in divorce. (BTW that is one of the lowest stats I could find, others place it closer to 50% and still others cite cohabitation as a reason it is not higher)
So how is our church shaping up?
40 men:
27 need significant male accountability and recovery focused programs.
65 women:
25 have severe marital struggles, likely something to do with abuse and addiction.
18 are single mothers or married to an unbeliever and need significant support
104 children:
Nursery and preschool programming during services is fairly typical
Sunday School, VBS, Awana and teen programs would be highly beneficial for these children
50 – 60 are growing up in a home with some sort of addiction
36 are growing up in a home that has only one parent or only one faith focused parent
AND:
Some congregants are older shut ins, they need help with basic things like mowing the grass and getting to the grocery.
Some congregants are severely ill, in the hospital, and need a visit.
Some are pregnant or have had a recent birth in the family and need help.
Some have experienced a recent loss of a loved one and need comfort.
Not to mention the overall State of the Church report released by Barna (https://www.barna.com/research/state-church-2016/) which reports that fully 56% of “chistians” state they have no responsibility to share the gospel.
Considering all of this, is it any wonder why God is calling faithful women to serve him? At the very least, the wives of faithful men need to active in serving the congregation!
And I come to the point – and perhaps it is a bit belabored and long winded and too full of facts and figures, but please hear me. There is so much work to be done. For the people in the back who still think this is about women teaching or some theological debate – THERE IS SO MUCH WORK TO BE DONE.
Can we please stop taking cheap shots at each other and just be co-laborers in the kingdom?
Isn’t there more than enough to keep every single one of us busy. Isn’t there enough hurt and heartache and brokenness without trying to tear down good faithful ministry leaders? Have you not seen enough suffering and hurting people that you can stop finding fault with every ministry and person in ministry over something as foolish as whether or not they were born male or female and maybe instead spend your time trying to win souls? Isn’t there enough here to keep the faithful busy for quite some time? I think there is.
Blessings,
Amanda
References:
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/04/06/christian-women-in-the-u-s-are-more-religious-than-their-male-counterparts/
https://conquerseries.com/why-68-percent-of-christian-men-watch-porn/
https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2018/04/06/christian-women-in-the-u-s-are-more-religious-than-their-male-counterparts/
https://conquerseries.com/why-68-percent-of-christian-men-watch-porn/
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